So. The total time I spent waiting to get into the labor & delivery assessment area was about 45 minutes. I arrived at the hospital around 11:30am and was being wheeled back to be checked around 12:15pm.
Once I got back there things moved quickly. I was greeted by nurse Tracie. I handed her my cup of amniotic fluid and she handed me a cup to go and give her a urine sample. She put a hospital gown on my bed and told me to change into it once I got back from the bathroom.
Allen took a seat in a chair by the bed.
When I got back to my little triage room, I saw that my OB- Dr.W was there ahead of me.
He asked me where Carly and Ben were? (remember, he's been with Carly through all of her losses, he knew what a BIG deal this was.) I shrugged. The last time I had talked to her was right after my water broke at 10:30am. It was now almost 12:30pm, and Carly lives about 15 minutes from the hospital.
He did a check to confirm that my water had indeed ruptured. (Baby A-the boy)
They did this by peeking under my sheet and gown, and having me "Cough hard," so Dr.W and my nurse could watch and see if amniotic fluid would come out. Lovely. Of course it did. Then he did an internal.
He could tell by the internal check that baby boy was still breech. So he verified with me that we were headed to a c-section. Dr.W and my nurse discussed the fact that he (Dr.W) had a 1pm scheduled c-section for the lady in the next curtained off room. Dr.W said "She's going first" meaning me. I could tell that he wanted Carly and Ben's babies here safe as sound, as much as we did. Dr.W asked me if I wanted him to go call Carly and Ben. I said yes. He left.
My nurse asked me a million health questions, and got my IV started.
Dr.W came back and said that he had reached them, and that they were on their way.
Allen left the room to go and wait by the elevators for Carly and Ben.
From here on out, my memory is hazy. Everything was happening at once. My room was filling up with people and it was all action, and movement and everyone talking.
The next thing I remember is that the nurse anesthetist came in and talked to me about having a spinal, and the c-section procedure. I remember signing papers. I told someone- the head anesthetist Dr. or the nurse anesthetist about our situation and the fact that I wanted, no, I needed, BOTH Carly and Ben to be in the OR and witness their babies being born. They said they'd see what they could do, but that hospital policy was only one person allowed.
Finally Allen, Carly and Ben came through the curtain, I believe that both Carly and Ben hugged me. Carly told me that as soon as they stepped off the elevator and saw Allen that she burst into tears, and that Ben grabbed Allen and gave him a big hug and kissed him soundly on the cheek.
Allen said "now I know what whisker burn feels like." I laughed.
I heard Ben telling someone- Allen? me? that they took so long because Carly had to take a shower and get ready before leaving for the hospital. I still can't believe it took them almost 2 hours from the first phone call until they arrived. They almost missed the birth. Crazy.
Then, one of the nurses entered and handed Carly and Ben white jumpsuits to get into. We realized that they were both being allowed into the delivery room. They suited up. I started to tear up.
Another nurse put on my ID bracelets, one for me, one matching me to the babies.
Then, she had a second set, and she looked befuddled as to who she should give them to.
"We usually give them to the husband..." She trailed off.
I asked what the exact purpose of the second set of bracelets was. She said it is to allow access to the babies.
I asked her to please put them on Carly. And since the babies would probably be in the NICU, I knew that Carly was allowed to bring 2 people with her to see the babies at any time. That way Ben could just get in with her. Perfect.
Another nurse brought me a small cup of medicine. I think it was anti-nausea medicine. She told me to "down it like a shot." It was pretty nasty. Off to the OR I went.
The c-section went perfectly, I've never had one with my children so I was worried. But it was pretty darn good.
Carly and Ben sat by my head. They were told that they had to stay seated, but that when each baby was brought out, they could stand when told, if they wanted.
I told the anesthetist that I wanted to see too! He offered me a mirror. I said "Yes!"
After about 10 minutes,(I think) I heard, "It's a Boy!" and the anesthetist grabbed a big flat mirror and held it above my head, tilting it on an angle over the curtain. I could see my OB arms and gloves, and in them was a nice sized, but small wriggly red/pink baby and they were suctioning out his nose and mouth. He started to cry. I started to cry. I heard someone call out "1:30pm!" as the time of birth. Carly and Ben had stood up to see, and after a minute they were told "Ok, sit down."
They did, and Carly bent in half at the waist, leaning forward toward me, crying. I was already crying and I remember the male nurse anesthetist grabbing something gauzy and wiping my eyes. (my arms were tied loosely out to the side for the operation)
I heard someone call out "Baby boy is 4lbs 2oz!"
Then a minute or so later a nurse came around the corner and handed baby boy to Carly.
She held him for a minute and handed him to Ben. I remember her saying that she felt so excited that she might pass out. (not really) I told her she better not, that she'd miss the birth of her daughter, as they were about to pull her out.
"Here's baby girl!, she looks great too!" I heard.
"Ok, stand up!" someone said again. And Carly and Ben stood, and my mirror got held up, and I saw baby girl being suctioned out, and she was crying and I remember thinking that she looked a little bigger than the boy, and just as beautiful, red, and wriggly.
"1:32!" was called out as her time of birth.
Carly and Ben sat down, and I remember turning my head and looking back toward Ben, and his eyes were all shiny, and he was looking down at his son in his arms.
"4 lbs 12 oz!" they called out for baby girls weight. "Good job!" I heard them telling me from the other side of the curtain.
I remember saying out loud "This is even better than I thought it would be." And I was laying there crying my ass off.
Then a nurse brought baby girl and handed her to Carly. It was so incredible to see each of them sitting there with a baby in their arms.
We were talking about how much the babies looked like Carly, with their dark curly hair and her ethnic nose, when someone joked from behind the surgery curtain to Ben, " You sure that they're yours?"
Ben came right back with "I KNOW they're mine, I signed the cup!" and everyone in the room burst out laughing. It was great.
The babies needed to be checked out in the NICU- standard procedure for 34 weekers, and they still needed to finish my c-section and close me up. I told Carly and Ben to go with the babies, I was in good hands, they didn't need to stay with me. So off they went.
My male anesthetist was the best. Not only did he talk me through the whole c-section from the start, he offered me the mirror, he snapped a couple of photos for us, he wiped my eyes when I cried, he grabbed warm blankets to put on my upper body while they were closing me up before I even had to ask. I joked with him as they finished up with my guts on the other side of the curtain " You're pretty good at this. I bet you've done it once or twice before" and he said, "Well I DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!"
Holy shit, I loved that guy.
My nurses on the post partum floor were awesome and I went home 72 hours later. The boy went home with Mom and Dad 5 days after birth, and the girl went home 2 days after that.
Pretty great for 34 weekers.
I feel really good, no postpartum blues or anything. It feels so good to have the weight of the babies out, the heartburn is gone, I'm sleeping through the night, I can walk again , etc.
I've lost all of the pregnancy weight.
When I look at the babies, I don't feel any sense of connection or loss. As I shouldn't, but I guess you never really know.
I feel like I should. Like I'm looking at Carly and Ben's babies. That were brought into this world with help from me. It's really neat.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Birth Story- Part 2
So, I hung up from talking with the Dr.
I told Kate, who has her own phone line/number in her room to "call Grandma to come and get TJ." (my MIL)
At this point I'm standing in the kitchen pantless, wearing only this shirt.
~A little story on this shirt.~
The night before, my best friend came over and surprised me with it. I had been telling her for the last week or so, how ready I was to deliver the twins, and how uncomfortable I was getting. Of course she knew the whole story about how Carly wanted me to go "naturally" and if that meant 40 weeks, so be it. My BF saw this shirt, and bought it for me on Wed night. Thursday night we went out to Walmart together (the beginning of this story) and I wore it out while we were shopping. Then I wore it to bed. I woke up, and my water broke. We now call it the "magic shirt."
Ok. So I'm standing pantless in the kitchen, water still trickling down my legs, onto the kitchen floor. Kate is calling my MIL from her phone. Hubby is on his way from work to come and get me. Carly and Ben have been notified. OB has been notified. The only other call I needed to make was to my best friend Brenda. I called her and told her that my had water broke, and about how I worn the shirt she bought me to bed etc. We had a laugh over that. She was very excited that the babies were on their way. She asked me if I needed a ride to the hospital. I say "no, Allen is on his way." (insert forshadowing music here)
I hung up with her, and asked Kate to run upstairs and grab my hospital bags.
I grabbed a disposable plastic cup put it between my legs and caught 1/2 inch or so of the pinky amniotic fluid, so I could show the nurses/Dr at the hospital.
My front door opened and I looked up expecting to see my MIL. She only lives 5 minutes away. Nope. It's my 20 year old nephew, who lives with my MIL. My MIL had sent him to pick up TJ.
Thank God I was standing behind the kitchen island, blocking me from the waist down.
"Stay there!" I hollered at him. "I'm not wearing any pants!"
"Ok!" He said laughing.
(my husband later said that it didn't matter matter anyway. Our 6'2, 260lb nephew is gay. He couldn't care less about seeing my 'gina.)
So TJ and Robbie left. I went and put on a pad and some dry pants. I left the shirt on. What could be more fitting?
I called Allen to see how close he was to home. His work is 25-30 minutes away, I figured he was about half way home by now.
"Ummm, I'm on the freeway, but I'm at a dead stand still. And it looks like traffic is backed up for miles."
Ok, this freeway is never at a dead stop. Even if there's an accident or construction it will at least creep along.
"What the hell?" I said.
"I can't go anywhere, it'll be a bit before I can get to the next exit ramp...I'll take another way once I get to one..."
I cut him off. "Don't worry about it. Meet me at the hospital. I love you."
and I hung up.
Kate threw my bags in the car. I grabbed a glass of cold water to sip on the way to the hospital. Since I had just woke up, and had been running around ever since, I hadn't felt the babies move yet. I wanted to wake them up for reassurance for myself.
I grabbed a towel in case I flooded the pad I had on. At this time the leakage had slowed to a small trickle here and there.
I put the towel on the car seat seat. Kate was out side as I backed down the driveway. I realized that I had told Carly I would call her back to let her know what the OB had said. I hollered at Kate to call her, and tell them I was on my way and for them to head to the hospital.
As I was driving I sipped on my water, willing the babies to wake up for the day.
I didn't turn on the radio, I remember driving in silence paying attention to the road, and my body at the same time. I wasn't having contractions yet, but I knew that they would be starting any time.
Finally, after about 10 minutes, I felt the babies start moving. I remember tearing up, knowing that they were OK in there. I quit drinking the cold water because I knew that I was probably going to have a c-section (Boy had been breech all along, and still felt like he was in the same position.) and I should have an empty stomach if possible.
About 15 minutes into the drive I felt my first contraction, and they continued about every 7-10 minutes
When I got to the hospital I was flustered, and missed the birth center emergency parking spaces close to the doors. I ended up driving past them to the parking garage that I normally park in for appointments. So I ended up on the 3rd floor of the parking garage. I grabbed my luggage bag, thank God it's on wheels, and walked my contracting, amniotic fluid dripping self into the hospital.
I got off at the labor and delivery floor, and went to the reception desk to check in. The was one girl ahead of me. The receptionist/secretary slid me a form. I filled it out. I wrote my name, my Dr's name, the date, the amount of weeks pregnant, and I checked boxes to indicate that it was a twin pregnancy and that my membranes had ruptured and that I was having contractions. In the notes part I wrote that there was blood in my amniotic fluid. I slid the paper back to the secretary.
I stood there with my bag at my feet and my plastic cup of amniotic fluid in my hand.
I overheard the secretary tell the girl in front of me that the Triage/Assessment area was full, she would get her back there as soon as she could. That she could "have a seat in the Family Waiting area" and she would come and get her.
Oh Boy.
When it was my turn, she asked me if I had pre-registered. I said yes. I made sure to tell her while she was pulling up my info, my current status. Twins, pre-term, membranes had ruptured, blood in it.
She was unfazed.
I was told to "take a seat in the family waiting room."
Holy shit.
I felt like people should be falling over themselves to get me in there! Guess not.
While sitting in the waiting room, I spoke to the other girl who had checked in ahead of me. This was her first baby, and her water had broke also. At least I knew I wasn't the only one they were making wait!
I had assumed that Carly and Ben would be there ahead of me, but they were not. Interesting, because I live 35 minutes from the hospital, and they only live 15 minutes away.
Then I noticed the TV hanging up above me. There was a breaking news story on. It was about a fatal accident involving a semi-truck and a smaller vehicle. The semi and the car were blocking all the lanes of the freeway and the helicopter showed that traffic was backed up for miles and miles. That was the freeway that Allen had been on.
Next, they cut to a story about a local hospital building that had been evacuated because someone "put a hazardous chemical in a toilet" or something to that effect.
They showed the building. Guess whose it was? My Ob's office, about 5 miles away.
I guess that's why his answering service took the call instead of his secretaries.
So I sat there for a bit- 10 minutes? 20? And then I saw my husband go walking by the door. I went and stood with him in the hall way.This is where he took the picture of me in the shirt-waiting...and I eyeballed the intake secretary, reminding her of my laboring self.
He told me that he had managed to get off of the freeway at the next exit (I think he drove on the shoulder) and took an alternate route to the hospital.
Allen and I waited another 20 minutes or so. Eventually we wandered over in front of the intake desk, where I grabbed an empty wheelchair. I continued to sit right in front of the desk, and eyeball the secretary. We called my Mom in Montana to let her know that I was in labor. My contractions were a steady 7 minutes apart by this time, and were getting stronger.
Finally, a nurse came out of the triage area and asked if I was Dee Lastname. I said "yes" and I was wheeled through the triage doors.
Finally! I was on my way.
I told Kate, who has her own phone line/number in her room to "call Grandma to come and get TJ." (my MIL)
At this point I'm standing in the kitchen pantless, wearing only this shirt.
~A little story on this shirt.~
The night before, my best friend came over and surprised me with it. I had been telling her for the last week or so, how ready I was to deliver the twins, and how uncomfortable I was getting. Of course she knew the whole story about how Carly wanted me to go "naturally" and if that meant 40 weeks, so be it. My BF saw this shirt, and bought it for me on Wed night. Thursday night we went out to Walmart together (the beginning of this story) and I wore it out while we were shopping. Then I wore it to bed. I woke up, and my water broke. We now call it the "magic shirt."
Ok. So I'm standing pantless in the kitchen, water still trickling down my legs, onto the kitchen floor. Kate is calling my MIL from her phone. Hubby is on his way from work to come and get me. Carly and Ben have been notified. OB has been notified. The only other call I needed to make was to my best friend Brenda. I called her and told her that my had water broke, and about how I worn the shirt she bought me to bed etc. We had a laugh over that. She was very excited that the babies were on their way. She asked me if I needed a ride to the hospital. I say "no, Allen is on his way." (insert forshadowing music here)
I hung up with her, and asked Kate to run upstairs and grab my hospital bags.
I grabbed a disposable plastic cup put it between my legs and caught 1/2 inch or so of the pinky amniotic fluid, so I could show the nurses/Dr at the hospital.
My front door opened and I looked up expecting to see my MIL. She only lives 5 minutes away. Nope. It's my 20 year old nephew, who lives with my MIL. My MIL had sent him to pick up TJ.
Thank God I was standing behind the kitchen island, blocking me from the waist down.
"Stay there!" I hollered at him. "I'm not wearing any pants!"
"Ok!" He said laughing.
(my husband later said that it didn't matter matter anyway. Our 6'2, 260lb nephew is gay. He couldn't care less about seeing my 'gina.)
So TJ and Robbie left. I went and put on a pad and some dry pants. I left the shirt on. What could be more fitting?
I called Allen to see how close he was to home. His work is 25-30 minutes away, I figured he was about half way home by now.
"Ummm, I'm on the freeway, but I'm at a dead stand still. And it looks like traffic is backed up for miles."
Ok, this freeway is never at a dead stop. Even if there's an accident or construction it will at least creep along.
"What the hell?" I said.
"I can't go anywhere, it'll be a bit before I can get to the next exit ramp...I'll take another way once I get to one..."
I cut him off. "Don't worry about it. Meet me at the hospital. I love you."
and I hung up.
Kate threw my bags in the car. I grabbed a glass of cold water to sip on the way to the hospital. Since I had just woke up, and had been running around ever since, I hadn't felt the babies move yet. I wanted to wake them up for reassurance for myself.
I grabbed a towel in case I flooded the pad I had on. At this time the leakage had slowed to a small trickle here and there.
I put the towel on the car seat seat. Kate was out side as I backed down the driveway. I realized that I had told Carly I would call her back to let her know what the OB had said. I hollered at Kate to call her, and tell them I was on my way and for them to head to the hospital.
As I was driving I sipped on my water, willing the babies to wake up for the day.
I didn't turn on the radio, I remember driving in silence paying attention to the road, and my body at the same time. I wasn't having contractions yet, but I knew that they would be starting any time.
Finally, after about 10 minutes, I felt the babies start moving. I remember tearing up, knowing that they were OK in there. I quit drinking the cold water because I knew that I was probably going to have a c-section (Boy had been breech all along, and still felt like he was in the same position.) and I should have an empty stomach if possible.
About 15 minutes into the drive I felt my first contraction, and they continued about every 7-10 minutes
When I got to the hospital I was flustered, and missed the birth center emergency parking spaces close to the doors. I ended up driving past them to the parking garage that I normally park in for appointments. So I ended up on the 3rd floor of the parking garage. I grabbed my luggage bag, thank God it's on wheels, and walked my contracting, amniotic fluid dripping self into the hospital.
I got off at the labor and delivery floor, and went to the reception desk to check in. The was one girl ahead of me. The receptionist/secretary slid me a form. I filled it out. I wrote my name, my Dr's name, the date, the amount of weeks pregnant, and I checked boxes to indicate that it was a twin pregnancy and that my membranes had ruptured and that I was having contractions. In the notes part I wrote that there was blood in my amniotic fluid. I slid the paper back to the secretary.
I stood there with my bag at my feet and my plastic cup of amniotic fluid in my hand.
I overheard the secretary tell the girl in front of me that the Triage/Assessment area was full, she would get her back there as soon as she could. That she could "have a seat in the Family Waiting area" and she would come and get her.
Oh Boy.
When it was my turn, she asked me if I had pre-registered. I said yes. I made sure to tell her while she was pulling up my info, my current status. Twins, pre-term, membranes had ruptured, blood in it.
She was unfazed.
I was told to "take a seat in the family waiting room."
Holy shit.
I felt like people should be falling over themselves to get me in there! Guess not.
While sitting in the waiting room, I spoke to the other girl who had checked in ahead of me. This was her first baby, and her water had broke also. At least I knew I wasn't the only one they were making wait!
I had assumed that Carly and Ben would be there ahead of me, but they were not. Interesting, because I live 35 minutes from the hospital, and they only live 15 minutes away.
Then I noticed the TV hanging up above me. There was a breaking news story on. It was about a fatal accident involving a semi-truck and a smaller vehicle. The semi and the car were blocking all the lanes of the freeway and the helicopter showed that traffic was backed up for miles and miles. That was the freeway that Allen had been on.
Next, they cut to a story about a local hospital building that had been evacuated because someone "put a hazardous chemical in a toilet" or something to that effect.
They showed the building. Guess whose it was? My Ob's office, about 5 miles away.
I guess that's why his answering service took the call instead of his secretaries.
So I sat there for a bit- 10 minutes? 20? And then I saw my husband go walking by the door. I went and stood with him in the hall way.This is where he took the picture of me in the shirt-waiting...and I eyeballed the intake secretary, reminding her of my laboring self.
He told me that he had managed to get off of the freeway at the next exit (I think he drove on the shoulder) and took an alternate route to the hospital.
Allen and I waited another 20 minutes or so. Eventually we wandered over in front of the intake desk, where I grabbed an empty wheelchair. I continued to sit right in front of the desk, and eyeball the secretary. We called my Mom in Montana to let her know that I was in labor. My contractions were a steady 7 minutes apart by this time, and were getting stronger.
Finally, a nurse came out of the triage area and asked if I was Dee Lastname. I said "yes" and I was wheeled through the triage doors.
Finally! I was on my way.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Birth Story- Part 1
August 31st 11pm-12pm
I went shopping with my best friend at the 24 hour Walmart. I definitely felt that nesting urge. I was picking up items that I wanted for when I delivered, like thank-you cards for my children and gift cards loaded with money on them for supporting their Mom this past year.
When I got home I went immediately and put their thank-you cards and gift cards in my packed hospital bags. (so I would have them to give to my kids after I delivered) I went and got ready for bed. While I was using the bathroom, out of nowhere, I had a surprise bout of watery diarrhea. Immediately a light bulb went off. As I was climbing into bed I told my husband about what happened in the bathroom. I also said "It could be nothing, but it was just like what happened before I had Kate. My body might be emptying itself out before labor starts, so I may be waking you up in the middle of the night. Or it might be nothing. Just thought I'd mention it."
And we went to sleep.
Around 10:00am as I was waking up, I felt a little "click" or "pop" inside. My eyes weren't even open yet. "Hmmm" I thought half asleep, "that felt like when my water broke with Kate" So I purposely changed positions and rolled over to see what would happen. Nothing. No water came out. My eyes were still closed. I went back to sleep.
Around 10:30am I woke up again, needing to go pee, and while getting out of bed, I stood up and my water broke. Thank God I was wearing flannel pajama pants, because this gush of water soaked them. I knew immediately what it was and I stupidly stood there on the carpet beside the bed for what seemed like a full minute, shocked and surprised and unmoving. Then I realized I better get my ass into the bathroom, and onto a tile floor as I was dripping water down my legs with every movement.
Adrenaline kicked in and I started to shake. But in a good way. I knew the babies were going to be here- today was the day! I remember sitting on the toilet, peeing and amniotic fluid water coming out at the same time (weird feeling) trying to calm my racing mind. My kids were both sleeping (it was the last weekend before school started) and needed to be woken up. Allen was at work, I needed to call Carly and Ben... I was in labor! What a rush!
Then I looked down at the bathroom tile between my feet and noticed that the drips on the floor were medium pinkish/red. Not clear fluid. But not dark red. Medium pink. And I started to panic just a little.
I woke Kate up, calling to her from the bathroom, telling her that "Mom's water broke!" And she went into my room ( TJ had crawled in my bed sometime in the early morning after Allen had left for work) and woke him up. All of our bedrooms are near the bathroom I was in. We told him that my water had broke and that Carly and Ben's babies would be there that day. The kids were so excited.
I called my husband at work, to come and get me.
Next I called Carly and Ben.
When she answered the phone I said, "Hi, my water just broke."
She said "OMG, are you serious? I laughed and said "yep, it's for sure." She started freaking out immediately saying to Ben in a breathless voice "Dee's water just broke, OMG, my legs are like jello, I can't stand up!"
I heard Ben in the background saying "Carly, calm down!" But he sounded like he was plenty nervous too!
I told her as soon as Allen got home, we'd head over to the hospital. The hospital is located in between their house and ours. (15 minute drive for them, 35 for us, we're a little farther away)
Then she asked me if I had called our OB yet.
I hadn't, it had only been a couple of minutes since I woke up, and he was next on the list.
I called his office and got the "Office is closed" message. HUNH? It was 10:30 on a Friday morning? WHY wasn't the office answering? I waited on the line like they said for emergencies and was put through to his answering service.
"Dr's Answering service"
"Hi, my name is Dee(Lastname). I'm a patient of Dr.Lastname. I'm trying to get through to his office and - the answering service lady cut me off-
"Well, there's been a problem in the building today, and the whole building has been closed."
Her tone sounds like she trying to tell me "that's it, you're not reaching the Dr." Final answer.
I copped an attitude. My tone changed from nice, to abrupt and a little snotty.
"Well" I countered, "I'm 34 weeks pregnant with twins, my water just ruptured and it looks like there's blood in it. I think he might want to know."
"Well" she responds sounding a little less huffy, "I guess I better get you through to him."
Stupid ass.
10 seconds later, I hear my OB's voice on the line. Fancy that. I didn't even have to wait for a call back. Directly connected. The problem is, I can barely hear him. I mean barely. I tell him it's me, that my water broke, and he cuts me off, and tells me to head to the hospital, and we were disconnected. Even that exchange of information took a couple of minutes because we could barely hear each other and we were repeating things over and over. Gah. I didn't even get to tell him that the fluid wasn't clear. Maybe the answering service did? I was worried about the color of the fluid, but not too much, because I know that it only takes a tiny bit of blood to make fluid (urine, amniotic)look pink. I figured it could have been from my cervix opening so fast when my water broke. It had been firm and closed only a few days before at my OB visit.
Ok- that's it for now. Next installment will be how I ended up DRIVING MYSELF to the hospital... and some more of the birth story.
I went shopping with my best friend at the 24 hour Walmart. I definitely felt that nesting urge. I was picking up items that I wanted for when I delivered, like thank-you cards for my children and gift cards loaded with money on them for supporting their Mom this past year.
When I got home I went immediately and put their thank-you cards and gift cards in my packed hospital bags. (so I would have them to give to my kids after I delivered) I went and got ready for bed. While I was using the bathroom, out of nowhere, I had a surprise bout of watery diarrhea. Immediately a light bulb went off. As I was climbing into bed I told my husband about what happened in the bathroom. I also said "It could be nothing, but it was just like what happened before I had Kate. My body might be emptying itself out before labor starts, so I may be waking you up in the middle of the night. Or it might be nothing. Just thought I'd mention it."
And we went to sleep.
Around 10:00am as I was waking up, I felt a little "click" or "pop" inside. My eyes weren't even open yet. "Hmmm" I thought half asleep, "that felt like when my water broke with Kate" So I purposely changed positions and rolled over to see what would happen. Nothing. No water came out. My eyes were still closed. I went back to sleep.
Around 10:30am I woke up again, needing to go pee, and while getting out of bed, I stood up and my water broke. Thank God I was wearing flannel pajama pants, because this gush of water soaked them. I knew immediately what it was and I stupidly stood there on the carpet beside the bed for what seemed like a full minute, shocked and surprised and unmoving. Then I realized I better get my ass into the bathroom, and onto a tile floor as I was dripping water down my legs with every movement.
Adrenaline kicked in and I started to shake. But in a good way. I knew the babies were going to be here- today was the day! I remember sitting on the toilet, peeing and amniotic fluid water coming out at the same time (weird feeling) trying to calm my racing mind. My kids were both sleeping (it was the last weekend before school started) and needed to be woken up. Allen was at work, I needed to call Carly and Ben... I was in labor! What a rush!
Then I looked down at the bathroom tile between my feet and noticed that the drips on the floor were medium pinkish/red. Not clear fluid. But not dark red. Medium pink. And I started to panic just a little.
I woke Kate up, calling to her from the bathroom, telling her that "Mom's water broke!" And she went into my room ( TJ had crawled in my bed sometime in the early morning after Allen had left for work) and woke him up. All of our bedrooms are near the bathroom I was in. We told him that my water had broke and that Carly and Ben's babies would be there that day. The kids were so excited.
I called my husband at work, to come and get me.
Next I called Carly and Ben.
When she answered the phone I said, "Hi, my water just broke."
She said "OMG, are you serious? I laughed and said "yep, it's for sure." She started freaking out immediately saying to Ben in a breathless voice "Dee's water just broke, OMG, my legs are like jello, I can't stand up!"
I heard Ben in the background saying "Carly, calm down!" But he sounded like he was plenty nervous too!
I told her as soon as Allen got home, we'd head over to the hospital. The hospital is located in between their house and ours. (15 minute drive for them, 35 for us, we're a little farther away)
Then she asked me if I had called our OB yet.
I hadn't, it had only been a couple of minutes since I woke up, and he was next on the list.
I called his office and got the "Office is closed" message. HUNH? It was 10:30 on a Friday morning? WHY wasn't the office answering? I waited on the line like they said for emergencies and was put through to his answering service.
"Dr's Answering service"
"Hi, my name is Dee(Lastname). I'm a patient of Dr.Lastname. I'm trying to get through to his office and - the answering service lady cut me off-
"Well, there's been a problem in the building today, and the whole building has been closed."
Her tone sounds like she trying to tell me "that's it, you're not reaching the Dr." Final answer.
I copped an attitude. My tone changed from nice, to abrupt and a little snotty.
"Well" I countered, "I'm 34 weeks pregnant with twins, my water just ruptured and it looks like there's blood in it. I think he might want to know."
"Well" she responds sounding a little less huffy, "I guess I better get you through to him."
Stupid ass.
10 seconds later, I hear my OB's voice on the line. Fancy that. I didn't even have to wait for a call back. Directly connected. The problem is, I can barely hear him. I mean barely. I tell him it's me, that my water broke, and he cuts me off, and tells me to head to the hospital, and we were disconnected. Even that exchange of information took a couple of minutes because we could barely hear each other and we were repeating things over and over. Gah. I didn't even get to tell him that the fluid wasn't clear. Maybe the answering service did? I was worried about the color of the fluid, but not too much, because I know that it only takes a tiny bit of blood to make fluid (urine, amniotic)look pink. I figured it could have been from my cervix opening so fast when my water broke. It had been firm and closed only a few days before at my OB visit.
Ok- that's it for now. Next installment will be how I ended up DRIVING MYSELF to the hospital... and some more of the birth story.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Here's the thing...
I have so much to say, I can't get started.
First of all, I am the slowest typist ever. I love to talk but I HATE typing. A journal seemed like a good idea for me, but any time I've had anything story worthy, you guys have missed out because it would have taken hours for me to tell you all the details.
I really want to give you guys the whole birth story.
But it's overwhelming to think about all I have to say/type.
I think I'll try to do it in short installments, or maybe it will just have to be less detailed than you all deserve.
The other thing is that after the birth story, I'm ending my journal. So I think that's another part of why I'm putting it off.
I'm just wrapping things up with Carly (that's quite a story in itself) and then I'll be able to finish up things here.
First of all, I am the slowest typist ever. I love to talk but I HATE typing. A journal seemed like a good idea for me, but any time I've had anything story worthy, you guys have missed out because it would have taken hours for me to tell you all the details.
I really want to give you guys the whole birth story.
But it's overwhelming to think about all I have to say/type.
I think I'll try to do it in short installments, or maybe it will just have to be less detailed than you all deserve.
The other thing is that after the birth story, I'm ending my journal. So I think that's another part of why I'm putting it off.
I'm just wrapping things up with Carly (that's quite a story in itself) and then I'll be able to finish up things here.
Friday, September 08, 2006
A picture to tide you over.
Taken just a few hours after the babies were born.
Thanks for all the good wishes. The birth was incredible. Lots of joyous tears shed. My hospital care was wonderful.
But it'll be a while before I get the birth story written. I'm just trying to rest and heal. Talk soon.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
The Power of the Internet
This is Allen, Dee's husband. I am here to inform you that her water broke this morning at 10:30am as she was getting out of bed. Baby boy delivered around 3:30pm by C-section weighing 4lbs-2oz, 18" long. Baby girl delivered 2 minutes later weighing 4lbs-12oz also 18" long. Babies currently in NICU for observation due to premature dates for twins and under 5lbs, but both babies are doing well and breathing room air. Dee went back to recovery and then sent to labor and delivery due to pre-eclampsia, protien 4+, b-p running high, currently on magnesium sulphate. Will be in a reg room tomorrow if all goes well. Should be home Monday afternoon and she will update all of you then. She says to tell you thanks for all of your prayers and wishes, she didn't have to go to 39 or 40 weeks after all. Well, my work is done here.
Allen
Allen
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Hot Bitch
I feel like shit. Don't know why. Kinda sweaty and can't get comfortable.
We're 34 weeks in the morning.
Being pregnant with twins at this stage sucks.
I'm so over it.
How much longer?
Anyone care to take a guess?
We had our 34 week ultrasound today.
Everything good. Heartrates, amount of fluid surrounding babies,etc.
They seem quite happy in there.
Girl weighing approximately 5lbs1oz.
Boy is approximately 4lbs9oz.
I'm carring almost 10lbs of baby and the end feels no where in sight.
Probably because of this. (adaptation from an email I sent)
It's kinda rambly, read slowly to understand my stream of conciousness.
I am 33 weeks and 3 days today.
I am feeling every one of those weeks. It just started this past week, my hips are going out of place if I sit on something firm for too long and try to get up, my heartburn is ferocious, I can't breathe, I have contractions if I try to walk any stores, I have a mild headache every day, I'm getting to the point of being d_o_n_e.
Our OB said that if I make it to 38 weeks he would do an amnio to check for lung maturity (which we know they would be, come on) but that's policy he says, and then he will section me.
As of last week neither baby was head down still ( A -Breech, B Transverse, sometimes Vertex) so we just all decided to go ahead and schedule an elective c-section.( well, it wont be considered elective if they dont end up turning- I would be needing one)
So get this. My actual due date is Oct 12th. When my OB's office called me to tell me the c-section scheduled date, it is OCTOBER 9TH. Yeah, like I'm going to go all the way to my due date with twins.
So basically I am going to have to go into labor on my own, and then get fitted in the OR . THAT pisses me off. Most everyone I know that is carrying twins has a c-section (if that's what they're having) scheduled for 37-38 weeks.
And it gets worse.
Carly had agreed with the OB and I, that we would do a lung maturity amnio after 37 weeks, by 38 if I hadn't gone into labor, and do the section right? Well, she called me the next day and said "Please don't be mad, but Ben and I talked and we feel it's too RISKY to do the amnio. I'm sorry but we just want to let nature take its course and if you go longer than 38 weeks... then you do."
What the hell. I SOMEWHAT see her point, I get that she's nervous about everything concerning pregnancy BUT- I am carrying these babies here. 38 weeks with twins is FULL TERM. Why don't "I" have any say in this? Totally not fair to me. I feel that I have done so much bending this entire pregnancy. There's NO reason I need to go past 38 weeks. That gives me a finish line, and she's being unreasonable as far as I'm concerned.
The other thing she said about the "risky" thing? She's scared that they're going to damage the babies. How? By accidentally picking them with a needle? Or the amnio will "put me into pre-mature labor"a she says.
IT'S NOT pre-mature labor at 38 weeks! So what if the babies decide to come because the bag didn't seal back up! This isn't an 18 week amnio testing, where if the membranes ruptured after amnio you would be f-cked.
Ok, just pray for me that I go into labor at 36-38 weeks on my own. Since the hospital didn't schedule me till 39weeks 4days, and Carly won't let the Dr. do an amnio like he wanted to at 37/38weeks, so IF my body decides to hold out, I am going to be one uncomfortable, not being able to do anything but cry bitch, and honestly, the shit may just hit the fan.
We're 34 weeks in the morning.
Being pregnant with twins at this stage sucks.
I'm so over it.
How much longer?
Anyone care to take a guess?
We had our 34 week ultrasound today.
Everything good. Heartrates, amount of fluid surrounding babies,etc.
They seem quite happy in there.
Girl weighing approximately 5lbs1oz.
Boy is approximately 4lbs9oz.
I'm carring almost 10lbs of baby and the end feels no where in sight.
Probably because of this. (adaptation from an email I sent)
It's kinda rambly, read slowly to understand my stream of conciousness.
I am 33 weeks and 3 days today.
I am feeling every one of those weeks. It just started this past week, my hips are going out of place if I sit on something firm for too long and try to get up, my heartburn is ferocious, I can't breathe, I have contractions if I try to walk any stores, I have a mild headache every day, I'm getting to the point of being d_o_n_e.
Our OB said that if I make it to 38 weeks he would do an amnio to check for lung maturity (which we know they would be, come on) but that's policy he says, and then he will section me.
As of last week neither baby was head down still ( A -Breech, B Transverse, sometimes Vertex) so we just all decided to go ahead and schedule an elective c-section.( well, it wont be considered elective if they dont end up turning- I would be needing one)
So get this. My actual due date is Oct 12th. When my OB's office called me to tell me the c-section scheduled date, it is OCTOBER 9TH. Yeah, like I'm going to go all the way to my due date with twins.
So basically I am going to have to go into labor on my own, and then get fitted in the OR . THAT pisses me off. Most everyone I know that is carrying twins has a c-section (if that's what they're having) scheduled for 37-38 weeks.
And it gets worse.
Carly had agreed with the OB and I, that we would do a lung maturity amnio after 37 weeks, by 38 if I hadn't gone into labor, and do the section right? Well, she called me the next day and said "Please don't be mad, but Ben and I talked and we feel it's too RISKY to do the amnio. I'm sorry but we just want to let nature take its course and if you go longer than 38 weeks... then you do."
What the hell. I SOMEWHAT see her point, I get that she's nervous about everything concerning pregnancy BUT- I am carrying these babies here. 38 weeks with twins is FULL TERM. Why don't "I" have any say in this? Totally not fair to me. I feel that I have done so much bending this entire pregnancy. There's NO reason I need to go past 38 weeks. That gives me a finish line, and she's being unreasonable as far as I'm concerned.
The other thing she said about the "risky" thing? She's scared that they're going to damage the babies. How? By accidentally picking them with a needle? Or the amnio will "put me into pre-mature labor"a she says.
IT'S NOT pre-mature labor at 38 weeks! So what if the babies decide to come because the bag didn't seal back up! This isn't an 18 week amnio testing, where if the membranes ruptured after amnio you would be f-cked.
Ok, just pray for me that I go into labor at 36-38 weeks on my own. Since the hospital didn't schedule me till 39weeks 4days, and Carly won't let the Dr. do an amnio like he wanted to at 37/38weeks, so IF my body decides to hold out, I am going to be one uncomfortable, not being able to do anything but cry bitch, and honestly, the shit may just hit the fan.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Hello
From Monday's appointments.
The stats from OB appt are as follows:
B/P 120/70
Weight gain of 20lbs total
Urine= Neg for protien and sugar
Fundal height = 36 weeks
Stats from ultrasound appt at hospital:
Baby Boy (A) weighing approx 3lbs 6oz
Fluid surrounding baby= good
All other measurments on track for gestation
Position=Breech
Baby Girl (B) weighing approx 3lbs 5oz
Fluid surrounding baby= good
All other measurments on track for gestation
Position=Kinda Vertex/Transverse
Cervix of steel measuring 3.7cm
Long closed
As for the gestational diabetes diagnosis. It is preety much bullshit. I check my sugars 3-4 times a day, eat the same as I have been, and my sugars are 95% of the time well withing normal ranges. And that's with no insulin (i wasn't ever prescribed any) and no diet changes. Damn doctors.
Carly and I discussed how my levels were barely elevated after that nasty 3 hour test, and she recommended that I wait a week after getting my diabetes machine and supplies, continue eating normally and record my numbers. I've been doing that for weeks now, and everything is normal. So that's good. I'll keep an eye on it though, just in case things decide to go awry as I get farther along.
31 weeks and 3 days today!
In other news, tomorrow is TJ's birthday. And this morning he got up, and went outside to ride his bike and it was gone.
Someone stole it in the middle of the night. After 1am when Allen went to bed, and before 8am when we got up to drop Kate off for marching band camp.
TJ had it parked beside the house, near our back fence. Fucking losers that steal.
I was so upset I cried. I was sad watching my 8 yr old walking the block looking for his bike. I tried to explain to him that I doubted anyone on our block took it, and if they did, it surely wouldn't be sitting out. He kept looking. He was really having a difficult time accepting that it was gone. But it is.
The stats from OB appt are as follows:
B/P 120/70
Weight gain of 20lbs total
Urine= Neg for protien and sugar
Fundal height = 36 weeks
Stats from ultrasound appt at hospital:
Baby Boy (A) weighing approx 3lbs 6oz
Fluid surrounding baby= good
All other measurments on track for gestation
Position=Breech
Baby Girl (B) weighing approx 3lbs 5oz
Fluid surrounding baby= good
All other measurments on track for gestation
Position=Kinda Vertex/Transverse
Cervix of steel measuring 3.7cm
Long closed
As for the gestational diabetes diagnosis. It is preety much bullshit. I check my sugars 3-4 times a day, eat the same as I have been, and my sugars are 95% of the time well withing normal ranges. And that's with no insulin (i wasn't ever prescribed any) and no diet changes. Damn doctors.
Carly and I discussed how my levels were barely elevated after that nasty 3 hour test, and she recommended that I wait a week after getting my diabetes machine and supplies, continue eating normally and record my numbers. I've been doing that for weeks now, and everything is normal. So that's good. I'll keep an eye on it though, just in case things decide to go awry as I get farther along.
31 weeks and 3 days today!
In other news, tomorrow is TJ's birthday. And this morning he got up, and went outside to ride his bike and it was gone.
Someone stole it in the middle of the night. After 1am when Allen went to bed, and before 8am when we got up to drop Kate off for marching band camp.
TJ had it parked beside the house, near our back fence. Fucking losers that steal.
I was so upset I cried. I was sad watching my 8 yr old walking the block looking for his bike. I tried to explain to him that I doubted anyone on our block took it, and if they did, it surely wouldn't be sitting out. He kept looking. He was really having a difficult time accepting that it was gone. But it is.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I Suck
Yeah, yeah. It's been forever since I've posted. Sorry.
Here are some seriously overdue pictures. These are from 3 1/2 weeks ago, at our 26 1/2 week U/S.
I'm 30 weeks tomorrow! THIRTY WEEKS! Now if these babies come when they're supposed to, that only leaves me with 6-8 weeks to go!
Twin 1 is the boy, there is only one picture of him. He weighed 2lbs 3oz at 26wks4days.
Twin 2 is the girl, two pictures of her, she weighed in at 2lbs4oz at the same visit.
I can't wait to see what they're at next week! (30wks4days)
Here are some seriously overdue pictures. These are from 3 1/2 weeks ago, at our 26 1/2 week U/S.
I'm 30 weeks tomorrow! THIRTY WEEKS! Now if these babies come when they're supposed to, that only leaves me with 6-8 weeks to go!
Twin 1 is the boy, there is only one picture of him. He weighed 2lbs 3oz at 26wks4days.
Twin 2 is the girl, two pictures of her, she weighed in at 2lbs4oz at the same visit.
I can't wait to see what they're at next week! (30wks4days)
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Kick and Roll
The babies are getting stronger. Here's a great kick and a roll that I caught on video today. I emailed it to Carly and Ben.
Oomph.
Oomph.
Friday, July 07, 2006
I'm lovin' it
Carly's school offered to sell the teachers their laptops at the end of this school year. They're IBM Thinkpads, pentium III. They were selling them for $120 each. Carly bought hers. The teachers that didn't want theirs had to turn them in, and the school put them up for sale, same price, and the rest of the faculty could purchase them- limit of two. Carly bought me one for my birthday!
Our OB had asked me at our last visit to start spending more down time, as much bed and couch rest-feet up as possible. No reason, just that it's time to start slowing down as a precautionary measure. I asked him about being on the computer, and he said as long as I had a laptop, and was laying down he had no problem with it. He wants weight and pressure off of the cervix I guess. He just doesn't consider sitting at a regular computer for hours at a time as down time. Oops. I do a lot of that.
So, when the computers went up for sale this week Carly grabbed me one.
She brought it over last night, and we had a good visit. This was the first time she's come for a visit. She left her house at 9pm, and got here by 10. That was ok with me, as we both had things going on earlier in the evening. Allen sat and visited with us, and Carly didn't want to go home. I know she enjoyed herself because she stayed until 1:45am! Thank god I had a nap yesterday afternoon.
Today Allen brought everything home from work to set me up wireless.
Right now I'm laying in my bed. This totally rocks. Now If I could get someone to pack me a cooler with food and drinks, and I had a bed pan...
Our OB had asked me at our last visit to start spending more down time, as much bed and couch rest-feet up as possible. No reason, just that it's time to start slowing down as a precautionary measure. I asked him about being on the computer, and he said as long as I had a laptop, and was laying down he had no problem with it. He wants weight and pressure off of the cervix I guess. He just doesn't consider sitting at a regular computer for hours at a time as down time. Oops. I do a lot of that.
So, when the computers went up for sale this week Carly grabbed me one.
She brought it over last night, and we had a good visit. This was the first time she's come for a visit. She left her house at 9pm, and got here by 10. That was ok with me, as we both had things going on earlier in the evening. Allen sat and visited with us, and Carly didn't want to go home. I know she enjoyed herself because she stayed until 1:45am! Thank god I had a nap yesterday afternoon.
Today Allen brought everything home from work to set me up wireless.
Right now I'm laying in my bed. This totally rocks. Now If I could get someone to pack me a cooler with food and drinks, and I had a bed pan...
Blah
I got woke up at 8am with a call from my OB. I failed the 3 hour gestational diabetes test. Dammit!
I asked him if i had flunked it by a lot, and he said no. He's sending me to the hospital for a class with a GD nurse, and he said that I should be able to control it by diet, and 4x daily finger picks. Hope so.
I do know from the lady that took my blood for the test, that my fasting sugar was 88 that morning. She told me after she picked my finger. But I guess I must have failed the 1,2 and 3 hour draws.
My OB is actually surprised that I failed both of my screenings for GD,( the 1hr he did and the 3 hour at the lab) He keeps apologizing and saying that he really didn't think I'd have it, and that the two babies and their placentas are what is causing me to have trouble. Gah.
Oh well, only 10-12 weeks to go!
I asked him if i had flunked it by a lot, and he said no. He's sending me to the hospital for a class with a GD nurse, and he said that I should be able to control it by diet, and 4x daily finger picks. Hope so.
I do know from the lady that took my blood for the test, that my fasting sugar was 88 that morning. She told me after she picked my finger. But I guess I must have failed the 1,2 and 3 hour draws.
My OB is actually surprised that I failed both of my screenings for GD,( the 1hr he did and the 3 hour at the lab) He keeps apologizing and saying that he really didn't think I'd have it, and that the two babies and their placentas are what is causing me to have trouble. Gah.
Oh well, only 10-12 weeks to go!
Monday, July 03, 2006
Really Quick
1) I'll be 26 weeks this Thursday!
2) Had our 25 week check up last week, measuring 30 weeks, no protein in urine, BP perfect, 2lb weight gain (for a total of 10 lbs so far), took the gestational diabetes 1 hr test.
3) Dr's office called 2 days later. I failed the 1 hour GD test. Dammit. I've never flunked one of those before. Going for the dreaded 3 hr test this Wed.
4) Had my 33rd birthday last Tuesday. Ugh.
2) Had our 25 week check up last week, measuring 30 weeks, no protein in urine, BP perfect, 2lb weight gain (for a total of 10 lbs so far), took the gestational diabetes 1 hr test.
3) Dr's office called 2 days later. I failed the 1 hour GD test. Dammit. I've never flunked one of those before. Going for the dreaded 3 hr test this Wed.
4) Had my 33rd birthday last Tuesday. Ugh.
Monday, June 12, 2006
22 1/2 week update
Had ultrasound this morning. Stop. Babies weighing 1.5 lbs each. Stop. Cervix measuring a healthy 4.2 cm. Stop. All other measurements normal. Stop. Carly and I getting along well. Stop. Life very good, yet hectic. Stop.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
# 3?
I've been asked by my husband and my best friend if I'm going to do this again. (surrogacy)
While I'm not necessarily going to seek it out, if an opportunity arose, I'm pretty sure that I would like to do this one more time.
Of course there's things that I'd change, or look for in a third attempt.
I would prefer to:
1. Go the independent route.
I've found that the agency wasn't worth the money they were paid, and if anything they may have made things a little more difficult than things needed to be.
2. Carry for second time IPs (already have a child/ren though surrogacy)
A) They realize what surroogacy is all about, and I won't have to walk them through the process like I have for these last two surrogacies.
B) Since this will be my last surrogacy I won't be available to do "a sibling project". Most second time IPs won't be looking to go through a third surrogacy. They're more than finished after two successful pregnancies/surrogacies.
C) It would be wonderful to be able to talk to their surrogate from their first time around. References are always a good thing.
My IPs from 2005 offered to speak to any potential IPs about me that wanted to contact them. I would hope to be able to do the same thing (talk to their surro) if I was considering working with second time IPs.
3. IPs that have frozen embryos.
The rollercoaster of cycling kills me. Synchronizing our cycles, waiting to see if the IM's E2 is rising, how many follicles she has growing, how many eggs are retrieved, how many fertilize, how many make it day three or day five... All of that is so damn hard. I'd love to skip all of that. To be able to do a FET? Sounds like heaven to me.
4. IPs that don't live close.
I would re-consider this if Sally & Don, the first couple I worked with, decided they wanted to cycle again. But only for them.
I've realized that a little space is good.
I would insist on:
1. Sticking to a TWO embryo transfer. Let me tell you, that's what I put in our contract, that's what we agreed to, but once I got the slightest pressure to add the third embryo, I caved. And then I shit my pants from the high beta until our first ultrasound. Not going to do that again.
2. An increase on parts of my compensation. Some things I was too low on, some things weren't included. I didn't want to ask for too much at the beginning. Now that they're not a part of our agreement, I wish I'd have spoke up. Feeling used isn't good. Ask for what you think is fair. I have a better idea of my needs this time around.
So far, that's what I'm thinking. Going to give it some more thought.
While I'm not necessarily going to seek it out, if an opportunity arose, I'm pretty sure that I would like to do this one more time.
Of course there's things that I'd change, or look for in a third attempt.
I would prefer to:
1. Go the independent route.
I've found that the agency wasn't worth the money they were paid, and if anything they may have made things a little more difficult than things needed to be.
2. Carry for second time IPs (already have a child/ren though surrogacy)
A) They realize what surroogacy is all about, and I won't have to walk them through the process like I have for these last two surrogacies.
B) Since this will be my last surrogacy I won't be available to do "a sibling project". Most second time IPs won't be looking to go through a third surrogacy. They're more than finished after two successful pregnancies/surrogacies.
C) It would be wonderful to be able to talk to their surrogate from their first time around. References are always a good thing.
My IPs from 2005 offered to speak to any potential IPs about me that wanted to contact them. I would hope to be able to do the same thing (talk to their surro) if I was considering working with second time IPs.
3. IPs that have frozen embryos.
The rollercoaster of cycling kills me. Synchronizing our cycles, waiting to see if the IM's E2 is rising, how many follicles she has growing, how many eggs are retrieved, how many fertilize, how many make it day three or day five... All of that is so damn hard. I'd love to skip all of that. To be able to do a FET? Sounds like heaven to me.
4. IPs that don't live close.
I would re-consider this if Sally & Don, the first couple I worked with, decided they wanted to cycle again. But only for them.
I've realized that a little space is good.
I would insist on:
1. Sticking to a TWO embryo transfer. Let me tell you, that's what I put in our contract, that's what we agreed to, but once I got the slightest pressure to add the third embryo, I caved. And then I shit my pants from the high beta until our first ultrasound. Not going to do that again.
2. An increase on parts of my compensation. Some things I was too low on, some things weren't included. I didn't want to ask for too much at the beginning. Now that they're not a part of our agreement, I wish I'd have spoke up. Feeling used isn't good. Ask for what you think is fair. I have a better idea of my needs this time around.
So far, that's what I'm thinking. Going to give it some more thought.
Monday, May 15, 2006
The "big" ultrasound- 18 1/2 weeks
All measurements look great. Perfect. Well 90% of them. I have to go back in two weeks to get a couple shots of the heart, and I think one of the kidneys. Other than that, the babies look gorgeous.
Overheard during the ultrasound.
Tech to Baby A.
"Move baby. Move. Stretch out. Agh! Why are you all curled up like that? I can't see what you are!" (trying to find out the sex) Repeat.
Very skilled ultrasound Tech to Baby B.
Same thing. (trying to find out the sex) Repeat.
Then they made me go for a 5 minute walk to get the babies to move.
Then, Baby A, the one I've told Carly time and time again was a boy because he's rambunctious and kicks the crap out of me, opened it's legs.
The Tech froze the screen and said, "Ok, don't scream OK? Promise?"
We nodded. I could already tell what it was.
Carly said "It's a Boy?" (but she wasn't sure)
The Tech said "You're right!" We kinda screamed anyway. Not tooo loud though. The Tech (and her student laughed) I started crying because I'm a big sap.
Then the Tech quickly zoomed over to Baby B. I've told Carly she's a girl because her movements feel gentle and quiet. ;)
Right away the Tech got her shot, and froze the screen again. I didn't even have time to check out the screen before the Tech said, "Now this time, you PROMISE not to scream?" We nodded again, and Carly said "It's a girl?" with hope in her voice. The Tech said "Yep!"
I sat up like a rocket, and Carly started hugging me getting ultrasound gel all over her.
It was a great moment.
OK- have to go re-bandage Allen. (who is doing better day by day)
No time to spell check.
.
Overheard during the ultrasound.
Tech to Baby A.
"Move baby. Move. Stretch out. Agh! Why are you all curled up like that? I can't see what you are!" (trying to find out the sex) Repeat.
Very skilled ultrasound Tech to Baby B.
Same thing. (trying to find out the sex) Repeat.
Then they made me go for a 5 minute walk to get the babies to move.
Then, Baby A, the one I've told Carly time and time again was a boy because he's rambunctious and kicks the crap out of me, opened it's legs.
The Tech froze the screen and said, "Ok, don't scream OK? Promise?"
We nodded. I could already tell what it was.
Carly said "It's a Boy?" (but she wasn't sure)
The Tech said "You're right!" We kinda screamed anyway. Not tooo loud though. The Tech (and her student laughed) I started crying because I'm a big sap.
Then the Tech quickly zoomed over to Baby B. I've told Carly she's a girl because her movements feel gentle and quiet. ;)
Right away the Tech got her shot, and froze the screen again. I didn't even have time to check out the screen before the Tech said, "Now this time, you PROMISE not to scream?" We nodded again, and Carly said "It's a girl?" with hope in her voice. The Tech said "Yep!"
I sat up like a rocket, and Carly started hugging me getting ultrasound gel all over her.
It was a great moment.
OK- have to go re-bandage Allen. (who is doing better day by day)
No time to spell check.
.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Surgery Update
Allen's surgey went well. It was 3 1/2 hours long. His surgeon took out 14-16 inches of bowel that was "severely diseased, spots were attached to his insides, but the rest looked great."
His incision runs from his belly button straight down to his pubic hair line, about 5 inches long.
When I went to visit Allen after surgery in the recovery room, he was in severe pain. He was moving his legs all about and moaning in pain. He was supposed to have an epidural and be numb from bellybutton down. The epidural didn't work.
I was pissed. The kept giving him morphine, and dilodin? (sp) They said they were giving him enough to numb a horse. It wasn't working.
There was also blood filling his catheter bag along with his urine. I guess they may have "done a little damage when putting in the stints for his catheter"
It was bleeding the entire time he was in recovery, one more reason why he was in there so long.
I was only allowed to go back and see him once an hour, 15 minutes at a time while he was in recovery. He stayed in recovery from 11:30am until almost 9pm.
It was hell. I was trying my best to keep my shit together and not cry.
I just couldn't stand to see him in that much pain.
I finally had to leave, Allen still knocked out, but grimacing in pain in his sleep. I had to get home to the kids. They had school the next day. I was exhausted from spending almost 14 hours in the hospital waiting room by myself.(and limited time in recovery)
So when I left he still wasn't settled in a regular room. That upset me quite a bit.
The only thing that made me feel OK going home, was knowing that the surgery went really well. Now it was all about pain management and recovery.
He was brought to a regular room sometime after I left Tuesday night.
The next day they took the catheter out and the bleeding stopped. Allen got a morphine pump, and they gave him enogh drugs to keep most of the pain away.
Yesterday and today he's ben up walking (shuffling) the halls, per Drs orders.
This evening he got pudding and broth and tea for dinner. (full liquids)
He may come home by tomorrow evening.
Thanks so much for all the great feedback on my last post about Carly and our recent issues.
And the well wishes for Allen are much appreciated.
18 1/2 week ultrasound this Monday morning!
His incision runs from his belly button straight down to his pubic hair line, about 5 inches long.
When I went to visit Allen after surgery in the recovery room, he was in severe pain. He was moving his legs all about and moaning in pain. He was supposed to have an epidural and be numb from bellybutton down. The epidural didn't work.
I was pissed. The kept giving him morphine, and dilodin? (sp) They said they were giving him enough to numb a horse. It wasn't working.
There was also blood filling his catheter bag along with his urine. I guess they may have "done a little damage when putting in the stints for his catheter"
It was bleeding the entire time he was in recovery, one more reason why he was in there so long.
I was only allowed to go back and see him once an hour, 15 minutes at a time while he was in recovery. He stayed in recovery from 11:30am until almost 9pm.
It was hell. I was trying my best to keep my shit together and not cry.
I just couldn't stand to see him in that much pain.
I finally had to leave, Allen still knocked out, but grimacing in pain in his sleep. I had to get home to the kids. They had school the next day. I was exhausted from spending almost 14 hours in the hospital waiting room by myself.(and limited time in recovery)
So when I left he still wasn't settled in a regular room. That upset me quite a bit.
The only thing that made me feel OK going home, was knowing that the surgery went really well. Now it was all about pain management and recovery.
He was brought to a regular room sometime after I left Tuesday night.
The next day they took the catheter out and the bleeding stopped. Allen got a morphine pump, and they gave him enogh drugs to keep most of the pain away.
Yesterday and today he's ben up walking (shuffling) the halls, per Drs orders.
This evening he got pudding and broth and tea for dinner. (full liquids)
He may come home by tomorrow evening.
Thanks so much for all the great feedback on my last post about Carly and our recent issues.
And the well wishes for Allen are much appreciated.
18 1/2 week ultrasound this Monday morning!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Can't sleep
Allen is having surgery in the morning.
We have to be at the hospital by 5:30am. 4 1/2 hours from now, and I'm not in bed yet. Well, I was in bed, but it was no use. Couldn't sleep.
He's having a major section of his sigmoid colon removed, due to his diverticulitis. The hospitalization he had back in December. It's finally surgery time.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Lots going on.
Carly and I haven't been speaking as much, and for now, that's a good thing.
I'm having a hard time with her right now. Lately it's been due to compensation, and her questioning me over the most simple of things, things that were drawn up in our contract, and she acts like she's totally surprised when she has to pay for them. And she ask me about it, which makes me uncomfortable. And I've told her that before.
One mistake I made was that I agreed to let her pay my compensation by month, rather that her having to put the total amount into escrow up front.
So, each time something comes up, my agency has to contact her to send money to the account, so things can be covered.
Carly constantly mentions to me that she hates the fact that the agency always calls her about sending more money. Well, if she would have put a lump sum in the account up front, she wouldn't constantly hear from them. They would just send me the compensation, and send her an updated statement each month.
Last week, she asked me why she was paying me .xx cents per mile to the Dr.s office.
I reminded her that it was her request that I go to her OB-Gyn's office, and it is 40 minutes from my house, about 30 miles. Roundtrip that is 60 miles, and is not considered local travel. Anything over 25 miles roundtrip (or something to that effect) she's required to give me gas money/milage.
This is clearly stated in our contract.
As a matter of fact I specifically remember her telling me this a few months ago. " I just appreciate it so much that you're willing to travel out of your way, to my Ob-gyn. I don't mind having to pay your milage. I've been seeing him for almost 20 years, and I'm just so happy that you'll be under his care"
The thing that pisses me off is this.
1. The things I've asked for are fair, and totally standard. Don't act surprised about any of it. Didn't she read the contract before she signed it? (more about this to follow)
2. Don't talk to ME about it! Talk to the agency. She knows I don't want to deal with that aspect of our relationship. It makes me feel cheapened in some way.
3. Don't complain about a favour you asked of me! I'll BE GLAD to go back to seeing my female ob-gyn whom I adore, She's FIVE minutes from my house. That way, she won't have to pay me a dime extra.
Let me share a little something from back in January.
It is very common to get a transfer fee. Mine was average, compensation wise.
When we went through our contract stage, Carly called me asking me if I would go over our contract (compensation part) with her. She said she had some questions that she needed clarification on.
In the section about the transfer, it said "D will get compensated $xxx for each embryo transfer"
Carly asked me if that $XXX was for EACH EMBRYO, because then that amount would be double if I accepted two to be transferred etc. I said no. That ment that amount for each embryo TRANSFER, the transfer itself, no matter how many were tranferred.
Make sense?
Ok, so she asked me if we could have the wording made clearer. I said sure. And I made sure it was changed.
Now, here we go.
The night before our transfer, I got a call from Carly. She was freaking out. Telling me how she had just gotten off the phone with Sugar (our agency owner)
That she DIDN"T KNOW that she had to pay $XXX for the transfer! And she told me all about how she was "screaming" at Sugar, and how she was "so loud, Ben heard me in the house and I was in the closed garage" and how she was so mad at Sugar, it was Sugar's fault for not explaining the contract with her.
???
She had me in tears, as I was so upset that she was making such a big deal out of this. To me, she was already arguing about $ and was making me feel that what I was doing wasn't worth compensating.
It was no ones fault but hers that she didn't understand. Of course I had just explained the transfer fee to her a few weeks before.
You know, I really don't care if I say how much it was.
It was $500.
Yeah. She has a surrogate that has agreed to let her pay monthly, not upfront, (so I don't have any kind of safety net if she quits sending compensation)
I agreed not to go back to work this year, I don't have a loss of organs fee, or MANY other fees that a regular contract has.
I was feeling very used at that point, like she was trying to rip me off.
I had been through 2 months of contracts, doctors appointments pills, and shots, and really up to that point in a surrogacy agreement, there isn't a lot to be compensated for. This was the first thing that I would receive $ for. And she was trying to fight it? And I had to explain to her what it was for? Like I was trying to fight for my worth. It was terrible. Once I started crying and explained it to her, she said she felt bad, and agreed to pay it. We transferred 3, 5 day blasts the next morning, and within the week we knew I was pregnant.
Here's the kicker. A couple of weeks later, Carly slipped (I forget how) and told me that SUGAR had payed me my transfer fee, out of her own pocket. (the agency owner)
And Carly let her.
All because Carly flipped out on her, saying she should have explained the contract better to her.
THAT my friends bothers me.
So you see now why there's been stress on my part with Carly. And that isn't all of it. But I'm tired now. And I'm not spell checking this vent.
Allen's surgery is in a few hours.
Nite.
*edited to add*
I just read this though ( I'm still not going to fix all those spelling and grammar mistakes!) and I need to add something.
Before you think that maybe Carly is freaking because they don't have the money for this surrogacy, they do.
They just took a week long cruise in December, and they just got back from an 8 day stay in Las Vegas- 2 weeks ago. She's a full time high school teacher, and has told me that she's at the top of the pay scale. (she even told me her yearly salary, why? I don't know)
She also teaches college 2 nights a week. Ben is a stock trader, and she's even told me what he makes every day.
She comes from a wealthy family. Trust me.
She also has prided herself on being able to get bargains whereever she goes, getting discounts etc. She recently (last week) called herself "Discount Carly" to Ben, while I was on the phone.
End of story.
We have to be at the hospital by 5:30am. 4 1/2 hours from now, and I'm not in bed yet. Well, I was in bed, but it was no use. Couldn't sleep.
He's having a major section of his sigmoid colon removed, due to his diverticulitis. The hospitalization he had back in December. It's finally surgery time.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Lots going on.
Carly and I haven't been speaking as much, and for now, that's a good thing.
I'm having a hard time with her right now. Lately it's been due to compensation, and her questioning me over the most simple of things, things that were drawn up in our contract, and she acts like she's totally surprised when she has to pay for them. And she ask me about it, which makes me uncomfortable. And I've told her that before.
One mistake I made was that I agreed to let her pay my compensation by month, rather that her having to put the total amount into escrow up front.
So, each time something comes up, my agency has to contact her to send money to the account, so things can be covered.
Carly constantly mentions to me that she hates the fact that the agency always calls her about sending more money. Well, if she would have put a lump sum in the account up front, she wouldn't constantly hear from them. They would just send me the compensation, and send her an updated statement each month.
Last week, she asked me why she was paying me .xx cents per mile to the Dr.s office.
I reminded her that it was her request that I go to her OB-Gyn's office, and it is 40 minutes from my house, about 30 miles. Roundtrip that is 60 miles, and is not considered local travel. Anything over 25 miles roundtrip (or something to that effect) she's required to give me gas money/milage.
This is clearly stated in our contract.
As a matter of fact I specifically remember her telling me this a few months ago. " I just appreciate it so much that you're willing to travel out of your way, to my Ob-gyn. I don't mind having to pay your milage. I've been seeing him for almost 20 years, and I'm just so happy that you'll be under his care"
The thing that pisses me off is this.
1. The things I've asked for are fair, and totally standard. Don't act surprised about any of it. Didn't she read the contract before she signed it? (more about this to follow)
2. Don't talk to ME about it! Talk to the agency. She knows I don't want to deal with that aspect of our relationship. It makes me feel cheapened in some way.
3. Don't complain about a favour you asked of me! I'll BE GLAD to go back to seeing my female ob-gyn whom I adore, She's FIVE minutes from my house. That way, she won't have to pay me a dime extra.
Let me share a little something from back in January.
It is very common to get a transfer fee. Mine was average, compensation wise.
When we went through our contract stage, Carly called me asking me if I would go over our contract (compensation part) with her. She said she had some questions that she needed clarification on.
In the section about the transfer, it said "D will get compensated $xxx for each embryo transfer"
Carly asked me if that $XXX was for EACH EMBRYO, because then that amount would be double if I accepted two to be transferred etc. I said no. That ment that amount for each embryo TRANSFER, the transfer itself, no matter how many were tranferred.
Make sense?
Ok, so she asked me if we could have the wording made clearer. I said sure. And I made sure it was changed.
Now, here we go.
The night before our transfer, I got a call from Carly. She was freaking out. Telling me how she had just gotten off the phone with Sugar (our agency owner)
That she DIDN"T KNOW that she had to pay $XXX for the transfer! And she told me all about how she was "screaming" at Sugar, and how she was "so loud, Ben heard me in the house and I was in the closed garage" and how she was so mad at Sugar, it was Sugar's fault for not explaining the contract with her.
???
She had me in tears, as I was so upset that she was making such a big deal out of this. To me, she was already arguing about $ and was making me feel that what I was doing wasn't worth compensating.
It was no ones fault but hers that she didn't understand. Of course I had just explained the transfer fee to her a few weeks before.
You know, I really don't care if I say how much it was.
It was $500.
Yeah. She has a surrogate that has agreed to let her pay monthly, not upfront, (so I don't have any kind of safety net if she quits sending compensation)
I agreed not to go back to work this year, I don't have a loss of organs fee, or MANY other fees that a regular contract has.
I was feeling very used at that point, like she was trying to rip me off.
I had been through 2 months of contracts, doctors appointments pills, and shots, and really up to that point in a surrogacy agreement, there isn't a lot to be compensated for. This was the first thing that I would receive $ for. And she was trying to fight it? And I had to explain to her what it was for? Like I was trying to fight for my worth. It was terrible. Once I started crying and explained it to her, she said she felt bad, and agreed to pay it. We transferred 3, 5 day blasts the next morning, and within the week we knew I was pregnant.
Here's the kicker. A couple of weeks later, Carly slipped (I forget how) and told me that SUGAR had payed me my transfer fee, out of her own pocket. (the agency owner)
And Carly let her.
All because Carly flipped out on her, saying she should have explained the contract better to her.
THAT my friends bothers me.
So you see now why there's been stress on my part with Carly. And that isn't all of it. But I'm tired now. And I'm not spell checking this vent.
Allen's surgery is in a few hours.
Nite.
*edited to add*
I just read this though ( I'm still not going to fix all those spelling and grammar mistakes!) and I need to add something.
Before you think that maybe Carly is freaking because they don't have the money for this surrogacy, they do.
They just took a week long cruise in December, and they just got back from an 8 day stay in Las Vegas- 2 weeks ago. She's a full time high school teacher, and has told me that she's at the top of the pay scale. (she even told me her yearly salary, why? I don't know)
She also teaches college 2 nights a week. Ben is a stock trader, and she's even told me what he makes every day.
She comes from a wealthy family. Trust me.
She also has prided herself on being able to get bargains whereever she goes, getting discounts etc. She recently (last week) called herself "Discount Carly" to Ben, while I was on the phone.
End of story.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Different is good.
Tell me something that you like to snack on. Preferably something interesting.
Lately, I haevn't been able to eat a full meal. I start to feel sick, and my stomach hurts after eating just a little bit of my meal. So I've started snacking.
Whole wheat toast with peanut butter. A mug of homemade soup. Etc. But I'm getting bored. I need new ideas.
It doesn't have to be way out there, just something that the general public doesn't eat, or that I probaby don't eat on regular basis.
For example, I like to eat small curd cottage cheese with tons of pepper, on top of a thin cheddar rice crisp. So very good.
Please make it something that's easy easy for me to buy or replicate.
Don't tell me about this awesome thing that you eat, available in Alaska.
Lately, I haevn't been able to eat a full meal. I start to feel sick, and my stomach hurts after eating just a little bit of my meal. So I've started snacking.
Whole wheat toast with peanut butter. A mug of homemade soup. Etc. But I'm getting bored. I need new ideas.
It doesn't have to be way out there, just something that the general public doesn't eat, or that I probaby don't eat on regular basis.
For example, I like to eat small curd cottage cheese with tons of pepper, on top of a thin cheddar rice crisp. So very good.
Please make it something that's easy easy for me to buy or replicate.
Don't tell me about this awesome thing that you eat, available in Alaska.
Monday, May 01, 2006
This morning was our Ob-gyn appointment.
My BP pressure was slightly elevated, but not enough to concern them.
I had trace amounts of protien in my urine but not enough to raise any eyebrows.
The nurse said I was up 8 pounds, which I know is bullshit. I've gained maybe 2 pounds sine my last visit 4 weeks ago. I weigh myself daily, my digital scale goes in .2 increments. There's nothing wrong with my scale. I think the nurse wrote it down wrong last month.
Carly asked for a look at the babies, and our sweet Dr. said "sure". They looked so great! We just got a quick peek at each of them, 2 minutes total, but we got to see them moving their arms and turning their heads. I even saw little fingers today.
Both baies are laying across my abdomen. Their heads are near my right hip, and their feet are towards my left hip. No wonder I'm feeling so much movement on my left at night! I have 4 feet kicking me there!
I asked our Dr if he would be the one performing my c-section, should it be needed. He said yes.
I asked him what his policy was regarding how many could be in the OR. He said he doesn't mind 2 (Carly and Ben) and then if I wanted Allen to come in to sit with me for the remainder of the surgery after the babies are out, and Carly and Ben could leave the OR with the babies that he wouldn't mind. BUT it depends on who else is working that day, we are going to be in "their house" and whatever the hospital people say that day, we have to abide by. But he also said that "They're human and they can sometimes be persuaded."
I asked him if he is comfortable letting me attempt a vaginal delivery if the twin closest to the cervix was head down, and the other wasn't. Would he let me deliver the first one and attempt turn the second one.
He said no. Unless BOTH babies are head down going into labour, I'll be getting a c-section.
I think that's about it.
My BP pressure was slightly elevated, but not enough to concern them.
I had trace amounts of protien in my urine but not enough to raise any eyebrows.
The nurse said I was up 8 pounds, which I know is bullshit. I've gained maybe 2 pounds sine my last visit 4 weeks ago. I weigh myself daily, my digital scale goes in .2 increments. There's nothing wrong with my scale. I think the nurse wrote it down wrong last month.
Carly asked for a look at the babies, and our sweet Dr. said "sure". They looked so great! We just got a quick peek at each of them, 2 minutes total, but we got to see them moving their arms and turning their heads. I even saw little fingers today.
Both baies are laying across my abdomen. Their heads are near my right hip, and their feet are towards my left hip. No wonder I'm feeling so much movement on my left at night! I have 4 feet kicking me there!
I asked our Dr if he would be the one performing my c-section, should it be needed. He said yes.
I asked him what his policy was regarding how many could be in the OR. He said he doesn't mind 2 (Carly and Ben) and then if I wanted Allen to come in to sit with me for the remainder of the surgery after the babies are out, and Carly and Ben could leave the OR with the babies that he wouldn't mind. BUT it depends on who else is working that day, we are going to be in "their house" and whatever the hospital people say that day, we have to abide by. But he also said that "They're human and they can sometimes be persuaded."
I asked him if he is comfortable letting me attempt a vaginal delivery if the twin closest to the cervix was head down, and the other wasn't. Would he let me deliver the first one and attempt turn the second one.
He said no. Unless BOTH babies are head down going into labour, I'll be getting a c-section.
I think that's about it.
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