Friday, September 30, 2005


I can't seem to get the comments running on my last post. Why is that? I have the comments enabled... I'm adding this post to see what happens.


Well now they're working on this post. Weird. Maybe I somehow disabled them on that last one? *shrug*. Either I don't know what I'm doing, or Blogger is a freak. Either could easily be true. Glad it's fixed.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I was right

Yesterday I got to thinking. I wanted to check with Sugar and see if she was indeed going to mail the IPs sneek peek to me. Well the answer was no. She kind of laughed when I asked her, like I was some sort of idiot. "Oh noooo" she said (small giggle). "Once I get their information I look it over and then schedule a phone consult with them, they aren't even a part of my program yet."
Well duh. I knew that. But when I asked her the day before, WHEN would I get to see a sneek peek profile and pictures she specifically said "The IM told me that she is overnighting their paperwork to me today. I'll have it tomorrow. Then I'll make copies of their pictures and sneek peek profile and send it to you. So, 2 days. Isn't that exciting?"
Am I missing something? Now she's saying that once she calls and schedules a phone consultation, has the consultation, signs them up ( gets $), sends them MY sneek peek with pictures and they like me, THEN she will mail me some information. Jeebus lady. Of course this makes total sense to me, but that's NOT what she told me. She also told me back on September 11th that she was sending them my info! I inquired about that yesterday too. Same response. No, she doesn't send out my info until they are a part of her program. Again, not what she said back on the 11th. When I said Sugar was a little flighty, I wasn't kidding.
I asked her how long all of that should take. A week? Two? More? She said it will only be a week before I get to see their sneek peek profile. "Maybe sooner!" she said. We'll see.
So then I wrangled some more information out of her.
The IM is 39. I don't know her husband's age. They have suffered 5 pregnancy losses, one at 6 or 7 months. I found out the city that they live in. It is NOT the original city that Sugar thought they lived in, which was 2 hours from me. It is much closer, only 50 minutes from where I live. If this match works out, this couple will be able to be a part of everything that they want to be! How great is that?

Tuesday, September 27, 2005


I have news!. Sugar called me tonight. The IM (intended mother) called her tonight. The IM has overnighted Sugar all of their paperwork. Sugar told me that the IM is very excited about me taking a look at their sneek peek profile and pictures. I'm excited to get them! Sugar told me that after she receives the information tomorrow, she will then mail it to me. She told me that I'll have it in two days. How that's possible I'm not sure. Since she won't be getting it until tomorrow, hmmm. I'm pretty sure she won't be overnighting it to me. We'll see. I expect her to priority mail it and my guess is that I'll get it Friday. You heard it here first.
Another bit I'm very excited about, that Sugar mentioned to me tonight, is that the clinic that this couple has been working with is MY clinic. The one that I've already done 2 cycles and 1 transfer with this year. Not only that, in a clinic with six REs and seven locations, we have the same one. RE that is. Freaky. I'm thrilled because this means that I won't have to travel for the transfer, and I already know the staff, and one of their locations is only 10 minutes from me.
Sugar also told me the area code that this couple lives in, and it is closer than the area she originally told me.
I'm so ready to pursue this again. I hope this is the right couple for me.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Heavy hearted

I don't even want to type this, but I have to get it out. My favourite uncle on my mother's side has cancer. Stage four cancer. He has it in his throat, one lung and his voice box. He is 51 years old. He has a wife and three grown, but young, daughters. He has 2 grandchildren. I love my Uncle M so much. My tears are falling now, for the first time since my mother called and broke the news to me yesterday. Dammit. I can't bring myself to type any more about this. I will just copy and paste part of an email that was sent to me.

~He has a form of lung cancer that is very aggressive. It is involving his pulmonary artery and the Dr. said that due to location, size etc in his left lung, it is not operable. He said that it is treatable but not curable. The form of treatment will be chemotherapy. He is referring M to the cancer clinic now. The lump in his lymph gland in his neck is definitely cancerous and there is a lump in a lymph gland in his abdomen that is questionable. There is also a lump in his kidney that they think is just a cyst. So in a nutshell, things do not look promising. The best we can hope for at this time is a remission following chemo. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I wanted you both to know the details the way C told them to me. Keep him in your prayers.~

This comes on the heels of finding out that my favourite Uncle on my Dad's side of the family ( my Godmother's husband) has a cancerous tumour on his brain stem. He is 50 years old, with a wife, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren. It is also inoperable, and this uncle has just completed his chemo. He has been given a 50/50 chance of making past one year, and his odds go down from there, with the Dr's giving him less than five years. My mother told me yesterday that the Dr's have said there is nothing else they can do for him now but make him comfortable. I think I'm going to be sick.

One more thing. My loving best friend of 10 years, our dog, had some lumps removed off of him 4 months ago. We paid $500 for the surgery, but didn't have the extra money to have the lumps biopsied. At the time we just paid to have them removed, and just hoped for the best. In the last 4 months, he has grown one of the lumps back, it is softball sized and hard, under his armpit. He has grown 2 small grape sized ones on his side. Another one grew from nothing to baseball sized hanging off the front of his leg. We took him to the vets, and guess what? Since we don't have $500-$1,000 to do another surgery again, and then have these biopsied, we had to let the vet take his best guess as to what was going on. He knows our dog's history, he did our dog's surgery 4 months ago. The vet shook his head and sighed as he palpitated them. Long story short, his best guess was cancer. For now our dog is acting normally, but it doesn't look good.


Sunday, September 11, 2005


The owner of the agency called me yesterday. I need to give her a moniker. How about Sugar? Her voice is so little girly, sugary sweet when she talks to you. It's hard to tell if it's fake or not. You still can't help but like her. Even if she is also a tad flighty.
Well, yesterday I recieved a call from her, asking me for the 100th time if they had received my clearance letter from my Ob yet. I assured her that yes, they had it, it took her all of 5 seconds to locate it in my file.
"Well," she chirped "I may have found you a match already!"
She proceeded to tell me about a lady that has suffered ( if i remember this correctly) 4 or 5 late term pregnancy losses. One was a set of twins. Her Dr's had first diagnosed her with an incompetant cervix for the first couple of losses, then something else. With her latest loss they have decided it is an immune disorder. How heartbreaking. I can't even imagine. Her Dr's have suggested that she find a surrogate now.
Sugar told me that this lady sounds very warm and that she is a college professor. The other great thing is that the Professor and her husband live 2 hours from me. Sugar told the Professor a little about me, and the Professor was excited and told Sugar, to tell me to please wait until I have a look at her and her husband before I decide on another couple.
Sugar asked me if I would be interested in this couple, and if I minded her mailing them my pictures and my "sneak peek" packet of info this week. I agreed. If Professor and her husband like my profile, then I should recieve their profile and pictures to look over in about 2 weeks. Maybe less.
It's a funny feeling, knowing that people are looking at your picture, reading the answers in your information packet and the letter that you wrote to potential intended parents. I wonder what they're looking for and if they are excited or bored when they read about me.
Looks like things are about to get interesting.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Good, Bad, Ugly

The Good:

Our vacation was wonderful. The best we've had this year. we took the kids out in the boat, and they both caught Northern pike. Boy were they excited. We had the most delicious fish fry dinner. TJ and Kate spent hours wandering the edge of the river catching tadpoles and frogs. Once they even caught a tiny a tiny bass, with their net. It was smaller than the size of my thumb. So neat.

The Bad:

On our way home I called my boss to see how things were going. He told me that we lost our biggest account. It's been touch and go for about six months now. It accounted for over half my pay. Ouch. I've known for a while that I needed to look for new employment as the company I've been working for isn't doing so well. So it wasn't a shock to hear, but it wasn't good news.

The Ugly:

We got home yesterday, and today my boss called and said he was closing the doors. The business is folding. I'm out of a job. Double ouch. My last day was the one I worked before we went on on vacation.
I've already applied for unemployment today, and filled out a job application on line for a local store that's opening. Tomorrow I'm going and applying for another store that's opening.

So that's the news. Send me some love.

Got to go. Need to bring Kate's purse and bike to her friend's house. She's going camping with her friend's family this weekend. They leave in the morning.