Friday, October 27, 2006

Flurry of phone calls

Before I could call Sugar and let her know that we chose the weekends of November 11th or 18th, Allen called the other supervisor that works Saturdays with him. He found out that the guy has already booked the weekend of the 11th off, and Allen can't leave the building without a supervisor that Saturday. So when I called Sugar last night, I offered the weekend of the 18th or the 25th.

Sugar called me around dinner time today. She said that she called the couple (I need to get them some pseudonyms)and left them a message about the dates we chose.
They called her back and said that they are very excited to meet us, and they wanted to know if we would be able to meet them any sooner than the weekend of the 18th/19th and that it was going to be tough to have to wait so long. (in a good way)

So that only leaves us with the next weekend, the 4th/5th of November.

So I spoke to Allen, and we decided that yes, we would be willing to drive to Big City next Saturday and meet on Sunday.

I called Sugar and let her know that we would move things up. I asked her if she would book us at the great hotel she did last time, as we liked it very much. She said absolutely.

She called IPs and told them we were willing to meet them next Sunday morning.

Sugar called me back and said that the IPs would like to pay, and would like to put us up at a hotel (pricer) that is 1/2 closer to us than the original hotel, is right on a magnificent shopping strip (not that that matters to me) and is right in the heart of big city. Well, that was nice! Sugar also asked if we could all meet at 11am Sunday morning?

So we said that sounded fine, and Sugar called them back to solidify things.

That's where it stands right now.

Side note- Right after I hung up with Sugar, Carly called. It's funny, I feel like she's getting more real and open with me since the babies arrived. She also said something which really touched my heart. She told me that "Everyone asks about you, and how you're doing-even my hairdresser tonight! I tell them that I'm so thankful that it was you that we had to carry our babies. You are so knowledgeable! You calmed us down through so much of it, and even after they were born when we were so nervous. Yes, someone else could have carried for us, but not the way you did. We're very lucky."
Man, I almost started crying. This was the most heartfelt thing she's said to me.
I think that finally the realiity of having her babies here, 8 weeks later, she is settling in, settling down and looking at her babies and realizing what I did for them. I finally feel like she truly appreciates me.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Taking another trip to the big city

Sugar called me this afternoon. Couple #1 "just loved" my profile and my pictures. (Sugar said she sent two) They said that they're OK with what I'm asking for compensation. They said that they think I sound like a really good match for them. They want Allen and I to pick a couple of weekends that would be good for us to meet.

It looks like we'll be heading to the big city sometime mid November if everything works out. Allen and I are offering to meet them the weekend of the 11th or 18th.

Off to call Sugar and tell her the dates that we chose.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Couple #1

So, Allen and I decided on couple #1.

We went back and forth between them and couple #2, and ultimately chose #1. Both of these couples have done IVF, have had losses, live in the same state, have the same clinic, the same RE, etc.
The main reason we decided to #1 over the others was the fact that they are the oldest couple (her 37, him 44) and they don't have time on their side like couples #2 and #3. Also, it just doesn't seem right to help a couple with a beautiful 4yr old daughter over a couple that doesn't have any children. I know that it isn't fair to compare primary infirtility and secondary infirtility, but when I looked at all the other factors, that was the only way I could make a decision.

I have to admit, I'm a bit scared though. Couple #1 hasn't cycled in 3 years, since IM was 34. She's 37 now. I asked and found out that her last cycle yeilded 11 eggs and 3 embryos.

My head tells me to go with couple #2. Younger, with a triplet(loss) prgnancy through IVF. I feel the odds are better for me to get pregnant for them.

My heart however leads me to help couple #1. I hope I'm not setting myself up for cycle after cycle of shots and meds and dissappointment.

I told Sugar of our decision on Saturday.
I spoke with her again last night, and she said she's mailing them my new picture and profile today. They should have it by tomorrow or the next day.

Saturday, October 21, 2006


Welcome to the Surrogacy Screamer! Please remove all hats and sunglasses. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. Thank you and enjoy the ride!
Tick, tick, tick, going up...

I've decided to try one more surrogacy. Allen and I discussed at length the four couples profiles. I'll give you guys a smidgen of an idea about them. I'll tell you in order of pulling them out of the envelope.

Couple #1. Stapled on top of the paperwork was their picture. They both have brown hair and eyes. They are both smiling. He looks friendly. She looks shy. I felt comfortable just looking at them. I looked at their information. He is a clinical psychologist. She is a primary school teacher. He is 44 she is 37. They have had one loss. They have done IVF before. She has uterine abnormalities. They live in another state. The writing to the profile questions looks male, and the answers are short and to the point. I can't get much of a feel for what this couple is like.

Couple #2. When I looked at their picture I was immediately stuck by their good looks. She's blonde, he's brunette. They are both 34. They look like they are full of energy. She is in advertising, he is in investments. They had one miscarriage prior to having their 4 /2 year old daughter. They went through IVF and lost a triplet pregnancy. With their picture was a 2 page letter from the couple that told me their story, and I didn't get through the first paragraph without stopping to cry. It twisted my insides up reading the rest. How was I going to choose? They also live in another state.

Couple #3. I immediately felt like I knew this couple when I looked at their picture. Like they were already friends of ours. They were cute and friendly looking, kind of laid back. She's blonde and very pretty, he's a nice looking brunette. She is 31, he is 32. They have no children. They have had one loss. She has uterine issues. They have not done IVF before. She is an HR rep, he is in commercial real estate. Her answers to the profile questions seemed real, and tugged at my heart. They also live in another state.

Couple #4. When I looked at their picture I was indifferent. She was smiling. He was not. She looks quiet. He looked introverted. She is an internal specialist. He is in Computers. She is 33, he is 39. They have one 4 year old child. She had a hysterectomy. Their answers in their profile are short and to the point, telling me nothing extra about them. They also live in another state.
My gut feeling was to put them at the #4 spot already, and I felt bad for a minute, already knowing that this was not the couple that I would be helping. This was so hard!

Now I know why Sugar usually sends one profile at a time. She usually picks who she thinks will be the best match for you, and then sends just that profile. You look it over, and decide if you would like your profile sent back to the couple, if you think you may be a match for them. If they like you, you set up a face to face meeting.

This time, Sugar said she would like me to have as many options as possible. So she sent me what she thought would be the 4 best matches, ones I would like.
I really appreciated this, but I ended up wanting to help 3 of them!

More later, have to drive Kate to a friends house.

Monday, October 16, 2006

So soon?

I just want to take a minute and address the comments/questions/concerns about my possible second surrogacy.
I don't know why, but I'm feeling a little sensitive about the questions on this subject.

The babies were born September 1st. I just received 4 couples' profiles last week. It will be November at the earliest before I would be able to meet any of them, probably December before a contract was in place, January by the time a cycle could start and February for a transfer. And that's as FAST as I could see it happening. A February/March/April transfer is what would be realistic, if I decided to continue along this path, trying to do a second surrogacy. That puts me at the 5,6,or 7 month post pregnancy mark. I don't feel that's too soon to get pregnant again, and neither does my OB.
I just hope that the questions I've been getting about this are from a good place, and not out of judgement. Those that are judging me can kiss my butt.

Out off the 4 profiles that I got, 1 had me in tears (I had to put it down, dry my eyes and take a deep breath before I could pick it up again.)
1 I felt some strange connection/I feel like I already know them feeling.
1 I felt compelled to help (due to various factors)
and 1 I was indifferent about.

More about these couples, and what's going on, later.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I Heart Fall

This is what my tree looked like this morning.
My house is on the right.
So pretty.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Not playing around

While I was sitting at Kate's figure skating lesson this afternoon, Sugar called. She's overnighting me 4 couples profiles. I should get them tomorrow afternoon. Funny how fast she's moving. Wonder why there's such a fire under her butt this time?

I also got a semi job offer today. The owner's sister is the one who offered it to me, but it's the owner who I need to talk to, and the owner does the hiring. I called about it tonight.

Keeping all my irons in the fire.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Busy Weekend

We had a busy weekend.
Friday afternoon Kate had marching band practice.
Friday night she had to play at the football game.
Friday night TJ stayed at a friend's house.;
Saturday Kate had an all day marching band competition, Allen worked overtime at work finishing his employees yearly reviews.
Today Kate, TJ and I spent the afternoon at Carly and Ben's visiting and hogging the babies.
When we got home my brother and my niece were here, and still are.
I ran to the grocery store, picked up what I needed for the kids lunches for the week, came home and made dinner for everyone.
I just got finished putting the kids to bed. After this entry I need to make lunches and go to bed. I'm whooped!

Me and the babies

Kate hogging the babies

TJ with the babies

Saturday, October 07, 2006


The owner of the agency called me yesterday. She's sending me 3 couple's profiles to look over.
I told her that I didn't want her to let the couples know that I was looking at their sneek peek profiles. I don't want to get any of their hopes up, due to the fact that I'm not 100% sure that I'm doing a second surrogacy. Or that I'll even use an agency. I'm going to be much more selective, and things just need to feel right to me. We'll see. It may be a week or two before I receive the profiles because Sugar (agency owner) is waiting for a letter from one couple and pictures from another.

I've looked through the surrogate/IP classified ads on a couple of sites and none of the ads have jumped out at me, so I haven't replied to any.

I really feel like I'll know if the right scenario comes along. I'm keeping all of my options open.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

On board

My husband is on board for me to do a second surrogacy. He's such a terrific partner when it comes to supporting my endeavors.

Last night we went out to dinner. During dessert he came out with "Let me throw this by you... I want to get a new tattoo."
My eyebrows went up. My husband has only one tattoo, it's on his upper arm/shoulder. It's about 20 years old. It's not very big.
"I want to get it to cover up my old tattoo, I'm thinking about putting my family crest over it."
I pondered what he said for a moment.
"Let me throw this by YOU," I blurted, "I want to do another surrogacy!"
and then I sat there with a goofy grin on my face, waiting for him to laugh at me.
"I know" he said matter of factly, and then he smiled and said "10 years babe." (that's how long we've been together, and that's how well he knows me)
So then we discussed his cover up, and my possible second surrogacy and we shared an apple dumpling a la mode.
Isn't life grand?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


I have the "all clear" from the OB. It's been over a month already since the twins were born. He says I can get pregnant again in a couple of months, no problem.

I'm seriously thinking about doing one last surrogacy. Independant again? (Sally and Don) Or agency again? (Carly and Ben)
I know that my agency has waiting couples. The agency owner has already offered (of course) to match me if I ever wanted to do it again. She buttered me up with compliments like you wouldn't believe. I won't even sicken you by typing them here. They're that syrupy.
She also managed to drop a few hints about 2 different couples that she thought would be a great match for me, and proceeded to tell me how wonderful they were, and a little about each of them. Mmm hmm. She's quite the buisness woman that one!
But it worked, and now niggling thoughts are in my brain.
Should I start looking again?