Monday, January 30, 2006

6dp5dt

It's positive! 4 different home pregnancy tests, all are positive.
The nurse agreed to run a beta with my other levels that were being checked today.
She called at 3pm, and the beta is positive. She said that all of my levels are "very good" and to keep doing what I'm doing (meds wise) and to come back Friday for a repeat beta.

I am overwhelmed in a very good way. More soon.
Too tired to type.


Saturday, January 28, 2006

Friday, January 27, 2006

Testing, testing 1,2 3

3dp5dt

Of course with all the tests I've got, I already started testing. One FRED each morning with the FMU and a saveontests cheapie strip.
Then cheapie stips for the rest of the day.
Nothing.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Cramping

The cramping started a few hours after transfer, and hasn't stopped. It's not strong, just twingey and almost constant, with a sharp jab here and there.
That's all.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Transfer Day

I only have a couple of minutes, as I want to get horizontal again soon.

Today was perfect. Truly. Carly came and picked me up at 10:00am. We were at the office by 10:40am. They took my blood up front, and then immediately brought us to the back for me to get undressed and Carly to get suited up. They gave me a couple of Motrin and a Valium. Since I hadn't eaten anything yet this morning, one of the nurses brought me some crackers before she had me take my meds. Carly and I took a few pictures. The nurses were pouring into our room to wish us luck. Carly has been with this clinic for 7 years and they have gotten her pregnant 5 times. Due to her different medical issues, she has lost every pregnancy. They are thrilled that she has a surrogate now. And, one that followed through.
Carly has had 2 people that she knows, offer and then back out during the discussion stages, and one "friend", if you can call her that, that was accepting money from Carly but not showing up for her appointments at the clinic, and then backed out before transfer, leaving Carly to transfer the three blasts that were ready to go, back into herself instead. That was last July. Since Carly had already miscarried 6 babies, her family was pretty mad. But Carly took one last attempt at getting pregnant. The three blasts never resulted in a pregnancy.
In September we found each other. :)

Today we transferred 1 4AA blast,(excellent) another blast that looked great(that's all they told us) and one that was on it's way to a blast, but not there yet.
We find out if there were any left to freeze tomorrow.

So we transferred 3. I'm excited and terrified.

Monday, January 23, 2006

A peek inside my bathroom cabinet



That would be 50 strip tests, and 10 FREDS. I bought them back in December, in anticipation of this cycle.
Bring on the transfer. I'm ready. :)

Bracelet




I bought Carly and I matching bracelets. They're sterling silver with sea turtle charms. Sea turtles symbolize fertility, longevity and protection from harm.

I hope she likes it.

Embryo update

As of yesterday (Day3) this is how our 8 embryos were doing.

4 were at 8 cells.
1 was at 7 cells.
1 was at 6 cells.
2 were at 4 cells.

Pretty great for my IM who is 39 1/2 years old.

I have to be at the clinic tomorrow morning at 10:30am with at least 4 8oz glasses of water in me. They told me to eat a little something beforehand because I'll be having Motrin and a Valium.

Carly has to give her senior students an exam tomorrow morning from 7am until 9:00am. Then she's going to run out of there, drive to pick me up (45 minute drive) and then we'll drive to the clinic from my house (35 minutes). We should be there just in time. I'm getting butterflies! It's finally here! Tomorrow is Transfer day! Dance with me won't you?

Friday, January 20, 2006

Here it is...

So far we have...

18 retrieved
16 mature
12 fertilized
They took 4 of the 12 fertilized and froze them
They are currently putting the other 8 through blast.
The next time they check them will be Sunday. (Day 3)
We will get a call Monday telling us how many survived.
At this time it looks like our transfer will be 11:00am Tuesday morning.

Fertilization Report

I'm still waiting on a call. Carly said she'd call me as son as she heard anything. AAGGHHHH.

My nurse called me, but I missed the call.
Her message was " I just got a call from Carly's nurse. You guys are definitely going to blast. I'll call you Monday, and let you know what time to show up at the main office Tuesday."

Details! I need details! How do they look? How many fertilized?

Waiting sucks.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Good news!

Retrieval went very well!
They got 18 eggs from Carly.
It was wonderful to hear the happiness in Carly's voice as she told me the good news.
Her nurse also told her that on Monday (the night before her trigger)her E2 was 3400.
And they expect most of her eggs to fertilize. "All but a couple" was what the nurse told her.
Dr.Ego says that he will probably take them to blasts.
If all goes well, Transfer is on Tuesday!
I start PIO injections tonight.

AYIEEEEE!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Shut down

I don't have much to say. I'm pretty nervous about tomorrow. With two prior experiences, both of them bad, I find that I'm trying not to think about it this time. I'm not allowing myself to get excited. I'm trying to just go through the motions, and not let my emotions run amok, like they did last year.
I'm trying to act as if tomorrow isn't the most important day in our cycle so far.
I've been trying not to dwell on this cycle too much, and just let the days pass by. Otherwise it's excrutiating slow and nerve wracking.


If you think about it, could you offer up some good wishes for and Carly and Ben around 10:30am EST tomorrow morning?

This couple has lost enough babies. 6 babies in 7 years. It's more than time for them to become parents.

Thanks.

Monday, January 16, 2006

AYIEEE!

Trigger is tomorrow night at 10:30pm!

Carly has to be at the clinic by 1O:00am Thursday.
retrieval is set for 10:30am.

Transfer will be either Saturday or Tuesday depending on how many fertilize, and if Dr.Ego puts them through blast.

AYIEEEE! The dates are set!

Trigger tonight?

Carly may trigger tonight. We're waiting on her bloodwork to come back.

She had 17 or 18 follicles on the right. The lead follicle at 24, the rest mostly between 17-22 in size.
She had 3-5 on the right, she's not sure of the sizes.
Her nurse told her that everything looks great.
We're so excited!

My lining check went well. It has the triple line pattern that they want. My lining is at an 11, after only 7 days of meds. It will probably end up to be 12-14 by the time of transfer. Wonderful!

I'll update on Carly's E2 this afternoon.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Conversations

2 days ago I was talking to my Mom on the phone. She was telling me that over the weekend, she and my step-dad had some friends over. 2 other couples. The friends had inquired about her children.
She gave them a quick update and when she got to me, she told them about the surrogacy.

I guess questions started to fly, and from what I can tell, my Mom did a damn fine job on educating them.

Of course there was the usual questions, like "Whose baby is it?"
She explained that it was Carly's egg and Ben's sperm.

They asked "Won't it be hard for her to give the baby up anyway?"

And my Mom told them exactly what I had told her when she asked that same question of me last year.
She answered " She's not giving it up. She's giving it back. It wasn't hers to begin with."

They said " So she's just basically an incubator?"

"Well yes," my Mom gently agreed, but then clarified things in her own words " You don't know my daughter. This is what she's like. She's just going to tuck it into a safe place under her heart and carry it for a while."

My Mom made me cry. That's it exactly.








I was in the kitchen yesterday and Allen and TJ were in the adjoining living room.

TJ (talking to Allen about something) "Why did you give that to him?"

Allen "Cause I'm a good man."

TJ "Yep, my Dad is a nice man (looks over toward me) and my Mom is a nice lady."

Allen "She is."

TJ "And I'm glad that you married each other."

Allen "Me too, that makes two of us."







Last night I was in W@lgreenz, talking on my cell phone to Carly.
We were all over the place in our conversation. We started discussing our cycle, and how we feel about Dr.Ego. We talked about our clinic, and how they have the best live birth rates in our state. We talked about how out of the 7 doctors in our clinic, Dr.Ego has the best stats. We talked about how his personality really stinks though, as he is a research scientist, and he's really egotistical, cold and talks above you.

As I was wandering around the store, I was getting more and more passionate about our conversation. I forgot where I was, and my voice was raised.

Carly "Well his bedside manner really sucks, but since he's the best... that's all that really matters to me."

Now, no one was in the aisle while we were having this conversation. But like I said, I wasn't really paying much attention anyway, and I was talking way louder than I realized. I was one of those people on their phones, you know the ones I'm talking about.

So I boom out " Absolutely! I feel the same way! I don't care how much of an asshole he is, as long as he gets me pregnant!"

And then I hear a snort of of laughter, and there's a lady who has entered the end of the aisle, and she's laughing as she walks past me.

I. Was. Mortified.

And as she passes me I stutter " No, NO! It's not like that!"

And she says, still laughing, "It's Ok honey, I know what you mean."

And now I just can't keep my mouth shut as I yell toward her as she leaving the aisle, " No really! You don't! We're talking about a Doctor! Not a guy! And..."

Carly was in hysterics listening to the whole thing.

I left the W@lgreenz without buying anything.

Sigh of relief

Carly's E2 came in at 700. I am thrilled.
Just for comparison, last year when I cycled with Sally, Sally's E2 on Day 5 of stims was 29.

Our nurse says everything looks perfect for Carly this cycle. She goes in again on Monday. They expect her to trigger Tuesday or Wednesday.

*Whew*

So far so good...

So far Carly has 13 or 14 follicles on the right. 1x16, 2x14, 2x13 and the rest 10-12. Good right?
On the left, the ovary that hides and is hard to see, she has 4 follicles. She doesn't remember the sizes, but they're 10's or better, but not as big as the right.(no 14, 15, or 16s)
The nurse and a doctor that happened to be in there said that the right is beautiful. The left is good too.
I can't wait to hear her E2 level this afternoon.

Carly's first check...

Well, she should be heading to the clinic right now. Her appointment is for 9:30am. They promised to have her out of there by 10am. She said she'll call me as soon as she gets in the car, to tell me how many follicles she has, and what size they are. She's also going to call me later this afternoon after the clinic calls her with her E2 number.
More soon!

Thursday, January 12, 2006

*Yawn*

I am so tired this morning. I could barely help TJ get ready for school, and drive him on time.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I help the kids in his class for two hours.(3rd grade)

The children have one on one reading time with me. They haltingly, agonizingly read to me, and I listen, and offer help when needed.
I do this from 10am-12pm. Then, it's lunch time and I take TJ home for a quick lunch. Today, after I drop him back off at school, I need to drive to TWO different pharmacies to pick up the rest of the meds that my pharmacy didn't have in stock. One to get crinone, one to get estrogen patches.

Then, I have an appointment to give blood at Red Cross at 2:15.

Next, I have to pick up TJ after school at my MIL's house.

Then it's homework help time, while making dinner.

I think I'm forgetting something....
Oh Yes! I have to take Kate tonight to have her figures skates punched out in spots, and stretched.

Ok, I've got to go. It's time to brush my teeth and throw on the 'ol ballcap, and get to the school.

Today is stim day 4 for Carly!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Odds 'N Ends

Here's some random bits of info I've got to tell you.

* Carly is on 1 bottle of stims less, both morning and night than Dr.Ego originally wanted her to take.
Once she had her baseline scan, I guess he decided that she had a good amount of antral follicles, and took a look at her past protocol.

* Her new protocol is 150 Gonal F (2 bottles) in the morning and
150 (2 bottles) of Repronex (also changed from Pergonal) at night.
So that's that. I'm glad that he scaled it back a bit.

* Today was her second day of stims, and her next scan and bloodwork is this Friday. (stim day 5)

* Remember when I got the surprise speculum? And then I got the call that the "integrity of the sample was compromised" and we needed to do it again?
Well we had to wait to re-do it, because my period arrived right after that call.
Yesterday, while I was having my baseline scan, I asked my nurse about it. She told me that the sample wasn't even run, because they just changed the vials that the sample goes in to, and the medium that surrounds it.
I guess my nurse had used an "old' (like a week) vial, so they wouldn't run it. But they hadn't even sent her the new vials to use. Dumb asses.
So I have to have that done again, because of their new changes. Grrr, clinics.

* I go again next Monday for a u/s to check my lining, and blood levels. Also for the second round with the speculum for the rest of my testing.

Umm, I think that's it for now. I'll add to the list when I remember if I forgot anything.

Another cycle begins

My daughter is Kate 13 years (and 2 months) old.
Yesterday, she got her period for the first time.
*sob*
It actually got to me emotionally.
I was pregnant for Kate at the age of 18, and delivered her when I was barely 19 years old. It really doesn't seem that long ago. I can't believe that my baby girl is growing up so quickly. Some years, time seems to hold still, and your children almost seem like they'll never grow up or change.
But every once in a while, there's a moment, or an event that makes your eyes open...and you see clearly for a moment. You look at your child and you say "Wow. They look so different to me today."
Or, "I can't belive that they're able to do that."
Yesterday was one of those moments.
I kept catching myself studying my daughter's face as she did her homework. I looked over at her more than usual as we watched a movie. Looking at her profile, I realized that my little girl isn't so little anymore. She's really a young lady. And at the same time I am sad, I am proud and awed at the woman she is becoming.

Monday, January 09, 2006

I'm so excited!

Sing it with me now.
"I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it..."

TODAY IS THE DAY. The day our cycle truly begins. I am so happy!

I just got back from my u/s and bloodwork at the clinic.
My uterus looks perfect, and my lining is at a nice thin 3.
I start estrogen pills and patches tonight after I pick them up from the pharmacy.
I return for another lining check next Monday. My lining should be at a 12 or more by then, as it tends to thicken quickly. Excellent stuff!

I talked to Carly, who had gone to our main clinic this morning.
(I go to one of our satellite offices.)
She had her baseline scan and bloodwork done. On the right side she had 11 or 12 follicles, and on the left side she had 4. She told me that they always have a hard time seeing her left side, and that there was most likely more follicles there. So as of today we're at 16 antral follicles. Good stuff right?
Right now she's at her pharmacy, picking up her stim meds. Have I said how excited I am? AYIEEEE!

I talked to my favorite nurse today, asking her about the increase in meds for Carly. She reassured me that it wasn't too drastic, and that Dr.Ego will cut her back in a couple of days if she starts off too quickly. She said that he'd rather start off a little heavy, and then cut back if needed. I guess if you start stims hesitantly and then try to boost meds up, sometimes the cycle never "gets off the ground."
Ok. I'll accept that explanation.
For now.
We'll see what happens.

Come on eggs! We want lots of healthy eggs!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

In my email

I just got an email from my daughter's friend. It wasn't to me, but to my daughter. Why she gave out MY email? I have no idea. Here is the email in it's entirety.

PaRtY hArD, RoCk'N'rOll, We'Re tHe ClaSs YoU cAn'T cOnTrol! nAuGhTy LaDiEs, PiMpiN mEn! We'Re ThE claSs Of 2010!!!



Oh lord.

Grrrr- clinics

They're making us wait until Monday. I hate them right now.

Carly called the clinic this morning at 8am and left a message. Nurse Biatch called her back around 3pm. Told her that they would see her Monday for her first scan and she'll start stims that night. Damn. We were hoping to start stims tomorrow. I HATE WAITING. Carly practically begged the nurse to take her on day 3 (Saturday) when they normally do scans,( as far as we know they do them every day, they have before) but Nurse Biatch would not relent. Mondays are a really tough day for Carly, she teaches high school for the day and goes straight to college to teach for the night. Why oh why won't they scan her and start her stims on Saturday? Wahhhh.

I guess they told her that she'll be doing a new stim protocol which kind of freaks us both out. She's had great success with egg amount and quality on 1 amp Pergonal in the am and 1 amp Gonal-F in the pm.
(or maybe the other way around, I forget which is morning and which is at night)
Since she's doing a surrogacy this time, she had to switch Dr's at our clinic. Her Dr. doesn't do IVF with surrogates.
Now, I don't have the greatest respect for our current doctor. I had him earlier last year when I cycled with Sally and Don. I believe he may have messed up our cycle and the outcome.
Guess who our Dr is? Mmmmm Hmmm. I AM a little worried.

Like I said, she's cycled with our clinic over 10 times in the last 7 years. They've gotten her pregnant 5 times. Her protocol was good. Very good response.
Her stim time is alsways 8 days from first stim shot to trigger shot. Then of course 2 days until retrieval. 10 days total.
She gets lots of eggs (ususally 20-30)
Lots fertilize (usually upper teens)
They freeze some on day 3 and a bunch go to blast (5-10)
WHY MESS WITH THAT?

This time Dr.Ego is having her take 3 amps in the morning (whichever is the sub-q, gonal-f or pergonal) and 3 amps at night (whichever is the IM shot, so Ben can do it for her.)
I'm worrying over here.
It's only been a year and a little bit since her last IVF cycle. She's 39. Isn't that a drastic leap in stim change?

I don't know. I hate to be a micro manager. I'm a super worrier and control freak. I have to stop.
Just because I had a negative cycling experience with Dr.Ego early last year, doesn't mean that this one will be bad too.

Right?

I'll try to let go, I'll try to wait patiently until Monday.




Is it Monday yet?

Trumpets sound

Carly's period has arrived!
She called me before the clinic.
I'll know more when she calls me back,
but TODAY is OFFICIALY CYCLE DAY ONE!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Scratch that

Ok, I just talked to Carly, for about an hour. We're all caught up now. She hasn't started her period yet, but expects to start tomorrow.
We had a good conversation. She told me a couple of things that made my heart squishy. She told me that she was telling her family about me on the cruise this past week. I think her words were " I was bragging to them about how great you are, and how lucky I am."
She told me that she told them "You guys are going to love her."
She also said that I'm going to love her family, that they'll have me constantly laughing.
We talked about how she is such a busy person, and that her friends and family are already giving her a hard time, telling her that she will have to slow down soon, once the "babies" are here.
She knows this, and she's fully prepared to do that, and she'll be thrilled for the opportunity. But she has admitted to me that she is nervous about the reality of becoming a mommy of a newborn or two.
She laughingly said to me that she told them "Are you kidding? I'm going to have Dee (me) move in with me part time."
I told Carly that I doubt there'll be room for me around those "babies" once they're born, that I'd probably have to wrestle down one of her family members to get some time with them.

(why we always say "babies", I have no idea, we both just say it in plural all the time)

She then said something about me being the one she'll trust the most once they're born, after having just carried them.
She also jokingly said something about loving to employ me as a nanny "after you've had time to recover of course!"
I think she is overcome with nervousness, thinking that she'll need lots of help due to her being a first time mom. But if you guys knew Carly, you'd know like I do that she's going to be a fantastic mommy. I have no doubts about that.

Almost there

Well, my period arrived this morning. I have no idea what's going on with Carly, I haven't talked to her. I left her two messages today, one on her cell, the other on their home phone. I hope she calls me soon, I'm really starting to wonder what's going on.