Friday, December 30, 2005

Not happy

My nurse from the IVF clinic called. The integrity of the sample was compromised. I have to re-do the speculum surprise. Not happy.

Last BCP

This morning I took my last birth control pill. So glad. My stomach is so bloated, my boobs are about to explode and I am the cryingest, snappiest biatch around. I'm about 4 days overdue right now, and I'll be a week or so overdue by the time it actually starts, since I had to take more pills than Carly so that she could catch up and our cycles would be in sync.

Other than that there's nothing new. Carly and Ben are on their cruise right now. I hope they're basking in the sun, relaxing as much as possible.

Too much sun can't affect egg quality can it? I'm so kidding.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Allen's home. I'm trying to get the aftermath of Christmas taken care of, the house and our lives back to normal.

The appointment for my lupron and ultrasound yesterday was horrible. I got a surprise visit from the speculum. My nurse forgot to tell me that they needed to test for the clap and something else. Hmmm, didn't have that earlier this year when I was with Sally and Don.

When she inserted the speculum, or should I say when she TRIED to insert it, I swear the thing had jagged razor edges. I about hit the roof of the examining room. I can take quite a bit of pain, and for the first few moments I said nothing. Then I started saying "ow, oW OW!" and she replied "sorry, so sorry, but wow you have a long way to your cervix. I can't reach it. It's way up there."
Now, in my 15 years of having pap smears, births etc, no one has ever told me this, or had a problem reaching my cervix. So she said she'd try again and she took it out and did it again. Fun. The second time was slightly better, and she admitted once she got where she needed to be, that she didn't have it positioned correctly the first time. Uh hunh. Thanks.
She gave me my lupron shot, and I was on my way. Our cycle is started! Here we go!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


Allen still in hospital. Don't know for how much longer.
I'm losing it over here. So much going on.
Lupron Depot shot and ultrasound for the go-ahead tomorrow morning at the clinic.
Talk soon.

Monday, December 26, 2005


Allen's in the hospital, and has been since yesterday at noon, right after the kids opened their gifts. It's his diverticulosis, "itis" now that it's flaring up. This time a general surgeon has decided that Allen will go under the knife, as soon as they can get his affected colon to clear up. They're hitting him with large doses of pennicillan, two different kinds, and he should be home in a couple more days. He'll have surgery to remove the offending section of colon in a couple of months.
I just came home to let the puppy out, and check on his food and water, now it's back to the hospital.
This sucks.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005


Going to pick up my second pack of birth control pills. I only have 2 of the active pills left. I can't believe that I've already taken 3 weeks worth. My nurse told me to skip the week of inactive white pills and continue on to a new pack, so I had to reorder. Only 8 more birth control pills to take before I can stop. I'm so happy about that. I also ordered my Lupron Depot shot, I'm picking that up tonight, and taking it on Dec 28th. Only 7 more days!

Well, we found out the cost to have the car repaired. $2,800.
We don't have it right now. I don't know what we're going to do.
I have to admit, it's times like these that make me re-think being a stay at home mom and surrogate. I've thought about returning to work,but this just isn't the right time to do it, for so many reasons.
For now we're going to continue to borrow Allen's mom's second vehicle, and Allen said he's going to have the car towed home from the impound yard tonight.
He says he may try to fix it himself.
Now, my man can change brakes and rotors and change our oil, but to do the kind of repairs that our car needs after an accident? Ummm. We'll see what happens.
Stay tuned.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Will pictures do?

I'm so, so sick. My voice has been gone since yesterday afternoon. I can barely get a whisper out. This sucks.

In lieu of an entry, will a few photos do?

I picked up Kate's friend Christy. She's spending the night tonight. Yes, on a school night. Am I a cool Mom or what? Actually, the girls are only allowed to spend school nights at each other's houses, no where else. Christy's Mom works with disabled kids at the girls' junior high, so I know Kate will get to school, and on time, when she spends the night there. Christy's Mom trusts us to do the same. The girls actually go to bed on time when their together. So it's really not a problem.

The other night when Christy stayed over, I taught them how to make apple crisp and tonight I taught them how to make tree bark. (Chocolate covered crackers) whatever you want to call it.

Girls making apple crisp (Kate on right, Christy on left)

Making tree bark tonight.

After we were finished baking I went upstairs to the kitchen, because I realized that I didn't have a picture of the finished product.
As I got to the top of the stairs Christy ran giggling to the girls bed. I said "busted." They were already told to be in bed. When I got to the crackers cooling on the counter, this is what I saw. Look at the cracker in the center of the picture.

That is a finger mark. Someone dragged their finger through 5 of the chocolate crackers.
Of course I can't holler, because my voice is gone. I whispered while making disgusted faces and accused both of the girls, who of course denied it. Vehemently.
I told them to call TJ downstairs. He was also in bed already. He came down and I did the same with him. He denied it. I kept asking him because I know my 8 year old. If he did it, he would cave with repeated questioning. After the 5th time I whispered "TJ did YOU do it... tell me the TRUTH..." he giggled. Little bastard. He said... "but it was so goood..' in this guilty voice. My boy loves chocolate.

The guilty party.

Well I guess this ended up to be a full entry. You can thank TJ.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Canine Carnage

Here is some of the canine carnage. This is all within the past week. These pictures do not NOT include my favourite ballcap which has been destroyed, or Allen's favourite tie- with the end chewed off.
Include many more pees and poops in improper places and there you have it.

The Canine:

The Carnage:

The Tim Hortons was TJ's hot chocolate, and the Marlboro's are Allen's.

That's what you think it is.

Allen's best dress shoe.

My new boots. Check out the left boot. The top and the back.

Kate's toe sock.

I hurt

Oh God it hurts. Make it go away. My throat feels like a cheese grater when I swallow. My head like a pressurized ball, my chest like a troop of girls scouts have made a bonfire in there.
See that post down below. Yeah. That one was because I was up at 4:30am this morning. The PAIN woke me out of a deep sleep and I had to get up and make a mug of hot tea, and down it all, just so I could swallow and get back to sleep.

Today, I have to drive to Canada to pick up my daughter, who is at her Dad's house. It will only take me about 2 1/2 hours roundtrip, but I hate it all the same. Whose damn idea was it to move to the U.S. anyway?
Also, I am going to start posting pictures of the Canine Carnage.
* pictures to follow, camera too dead to upload *

Bored and Bitchy

Well, I'm bored and bitchy over here. I want to know what they put in these birth control pills. I've been a stark raving bitch. I'm trying to keep it inside. It doesn't always work. Honestly, I feel a little psychotic. One minute I'm fine, the next minute the smallest thing makes me want to flip out. This is not me. I want it to go away.

Our Depot Lupron shots are on Dec 28th, and we stop taking our birth control pills on Dec 30th. Could someone please tell me when my period should start? With my last two IVF cycles I wasn't on the B/C pills. My period started 5 days after the lupron. (if I remember correctly)

In other news, Carly and I havn't talked much, she is insanely busy with her high school and college students. She is also in charge of planning a family cruise for 40 people, they leave Dec 25th or 26th for a 4 or 5 day cruise. She'll be back on Dec 30th or 31st (I forget).
I think we've talked once in the last 10 days.

She said something that made me cringe the other day.
It started innocently enough. She was thanking me for everything I've done so far. For being organized and taking some of the pressure off of her to do everything.
She said something to the effect of, "I just can't believe how much you're helping me. Things are going so smoothly. Most surrogates wouldn't do what you've done. Ben and I are so glad we hired you to be our surrogate."
And then she said something about paying someone... I forget. My brain kind of blinked off at that, as I started mulling over the "hired help" part of what she said.
Then, because I was so quiet, and I think she realized how what she said sounded, she quickly added, "but I know- we're friends too." The tone in her voice implying that this isn't just buisness, we are starting to care for each other in a more personal way.

Ok, I know that they have in fact "hired" me to be their surrogate. But ick. Yes, they are compensating me for what I am doing. But when I hear the word hired, I think of a boss/employee relationship and it doesn't feel good. Hopefully it was just a poor use of words, and not a Freudian slip.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Winter in Michigan

This is what it looks like at my house today.
I just snapped this picture of the creek that runs across the end of my backyard.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I've been tagged

Well Cat did it. She was the first ever to tag me. Thanks girl, it was great!

Five things about me.

1. I live in Michigan. I've noticed that a few of my readers are from MI also.
It looks like there are a couple of you that live within 15-30 minutes from me.

2. I'm Canadian. Born and raised there, didn't move to the U.S until 1997. (see below)

3. I met my husband in a chat room ( anyone remember POWWOW chatrooms?) back in Oct of 1996. I lived in Canada, Allen lived in the U.S.
November 1st, 1996 we decided to meet face to face. We met at a local bar. I chose this place specifically because a friend of mine was the doorman, and said that if Allen turned out to be some freaky weirdo, he'd throw him out on his ass. Things went wonderfully, and six months later Allen and I got married.(1997) I moved to Michigan. We've been married for 8 1/2 years now.
9 years this spring. I love the internets!

4. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I'm 32. If this surrogacy is successful, I plan on going to school to become a licensed Massage Therapist in January of 2007.

5. I didn't drive/get my license until I was 25 years old.

I tag Lynette, Dooney, Jennie, Thalia, and Stacy.

Monday, December 12, 2005

I'm a bitch

Just an update to say that I'm bitchy and crabby and I'm blaming it all on the birth control pills. Holy mother of God, I've been a hormonal mess.

Still no word on the car, other than it may be fixable. There is a guy at the towing yard that does body work and he said that he would call around to get used part prices and then call us with an estimate for him to do the work. Last we heard (Saturday) the guy was waiting on some part prices from other yards.

La la la. We're still waiting. Being a two car family was overrated anyway.

Did I metion that we only had PLPD for insurance on the Sable? No? Well, everything is going to be out of pocket, and our pockets were already empty.

Also, my sister in law bought me a pair of cute Ugg-like boots. The puppy chewed the hell out of them.
This morning I woke up to 4 Christmas bulbs shattered in 4 seperate locations throughout the house.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Bad Day Already

6am- wake up to new puppy pee and poop on floor.

7am- got in argument with 13 year old daughter. Husband and daughter leave for work and school, I start crying as soon as the door shuts.

7:30 am- 8 year old wakes up and has peed the bed, strip the bed, put him in the tub.

7:45 am- Husband calls and has hit a patch of ice, slides into rear end of some guys van, bends the guys bumper and tells me that he thinks our 2000 Sable is totalled. I hang up, and start to cry some more.

More later. Fuck.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Next Month!

Well here we are in December. I can finally say that we're having our transfer next month. Next month!

Carly and I talk on the phone a couple of times a week. Every time we talk, it reinforces to me how lucky we are. She's great. Warm, loving, talkative.
We get so excited in our phone calls that we often talk over each other. It's like we both have so much to say, and we just can't hold it in. We're constantly telling each other how great we think the other person is. I told her the other day that we have our own Mutual Admiration Society. She just laughed and agreed.

She also mentioned to me yesterday she was talking to one of our nurses at the clinic and our nurse told her that they wished they had known after I wasn't working with Sally and Don anymore, that I was looking for another couple to work with. They would have loved to have had me surrogate for one of the many couples in need at our clinic. Carly told me that our nurse was being very complimentary about me. Carly laughed and said to me, "Well I'm glad that they didn't tell you that, or I would never have gotten you!"

What a sweetheart she is. She makes me feel very appreciated with her words. Remember one of my fears was being thought of as an employee? Well it's not going to happen with this couple, let me tell you. I can tell they value who I am and what I'm doing. They also appreciate my husband and his role in supporting what I'm doing. I feel very blessed to be helping this couple.

Carly and Ben have already asked us (the kids and all) to an annual family get-together on New Years Day, at their house. They're just thoughtful people and I appreciate that very much.

Last week when she and I were talking, she told me how she had just went to a Craft and Bead Show.
I said "What? I never knew they had those around here, I make jewellery."
She said " You do? So do I!"
I said " Actually, I've been looking for a certain stone, because I'm making you something."
She said, "No way! I was planning on making you something for Christmas!"

In other news..

Carly's period is due this weekend.
When we talked yesterday I told her to hurry up and start already.
Then I said "Go and have some good sex tonight, that'll get it going for sure."
and as I was saying that, she said, "Ben and I should do it tonight, that always gets it going." at the exact same time!
What a riot.
We're on the same wave length. Kinda scary.

So yeah. Things are good. I want January to BE HERE ALREADY!

I'm going to take my first birth control pill now ...