Sunday, March 26, 2006

I hurt so much

MAURICE, Aubert "Pete" peacefully, surrounded by his family on March 23, 2006 at Hotel Dieu Grace Hospital as a result of an automobile accident in Lakeland, Fl. Beloved husband and best friend of Vivian (Shipko) (nee Gagnon) and the late Angeline Allegretti (1970). Loving father of Victor, Berny, Carmen and Connie, of LaSalle; Angela and Rick Bastien, of Essex. Cherished grandfather of Charles, Donna, Julie, Danielle, Jaclyn, Rachelle, Peter, Renee, Jaimie, and Jennifer. Great-grandfather of Caitlin, Tyler, Brigitte, Tayla, Larissa and Andrea. Dear brother of Angeline Juneau, of Mi., and the late Aldee and Irene Maurice, Gus and Marjorie Maurice, Jeanne and Paul Frigault, Donat and Ted Maurice, Beatrice and Wilfred Ouellette, Gerard Maurice and Roger Maurice. Brother-in-law of Irene Maurice, of Stoney Creek; Penny Maurice, Ronald and Julia Gagnon, of Belle River; Maurice and Sheila Gagnon, of Tecumseh; Jeanette and Lionel Poisson, of Rodney; Lloyd and Arlene Gagnon, of Henderson, Nev; Carolyn and Pete Daudlin, of Wheatley; Donald and Mae Gagnon, of Lincoln, Cal.; Allan and Michelle Gagnon, of Placentia , Cal.; Marlene and Paul Renaud, of Belle River; Denise Hillock and friend Zoli Voros, of Windsor; and Carmen Allegretti, of Fl. Also survived by many nieces and nephews. Pete was a retired locomotive engineer at CNR and was an avid golfer, fisherman and hunter. He was a member of the the Sutton Creek Golf and Country Club, Captain of the Retreads League and a member of the PGA Golf Pool. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the charity of one's choice. A special thank you to the staff of Lakeland Regional Hospital and Hotel Dieu Grace of Windsor. Visiting Saturday, from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. and Sunday, from 1:00 to 5:00 and 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. at The Marcotte Funeral Home and Chapel, 12105 Tecumseh Road, Tecumseh (735-2830). Prayers Sunday at 8:30 p.m. The Funeral will be held on Monday, March 27, 2006 at 9:45 a.m. from the funeral home to Parish of the Atonement Church, 2940 Forest Glade Drive, for a Mass of Christian Burial at 10:30 a.m. Fr. Clare Coleman will be the celebrant. Interment at Heavenly Rest Cemetery. A tree wil be planted in memory of A.J. "Pete" Maurice in the Marcotte Heritage Forest. A dedication service will be held on September 24, 2006. All are welcome. The family invites you to sign the Book of Condolence or to share a memory at .


I want to share his eulogy with you.( the words from the Grandchildren)
My sister wrote it. She did a beautiful job, and I want to share a bit of my Grandpa with you.

Once, in a quiet moment, Grandpa shared a thought similar to this: “Old friends pass away, new friends appear… An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend--or a meaningful day.”
Our Grandpa followed this type of philosophy throughout his life, and, in doing so, provided us with the perfect model of how to live and love.

Grandpa often had these moments of deep insight; but he also had a sparkling personality which inspired us to call him “just so cute.” This term of endearment was our way of expressing Grandpa’s passionate zest for life. He could play with trains, fly kites, relish his strawberries and ice cream, tell jokes, and laugh, with youthful exuberance. The twinkle in his kindly blue eyes as he adjusted our first grip on the putter, or guided our aim as we pitched our first horseshoe, was a manifestation of the pure pleasure and happiness our Grandpa radiated.

He taught us to play with determination, and have a strong spirit of competitiveness, while at the same time exhibiting values of honesty and good sportsmanship. Win or lose, he always had words of encouragement, and an affectionate smile, for his partner in the game. Never once did we hear Grandpa raise his voice, or say something hurtful about someone else. He had a consistently positive attitude around his grandchildren, which was inspirational.

Yet it was truly Grandpa’s unconditional love that had the greatest effect upon our lives, and caused each grandchild to blossom in his presence. How we will miss being greeted with that smile, which radiated warmth; that enormous bear hug, that made you feel enveloped in love; and of course, being told how beautiful each of us are. Grandpa always made every, individual grandchild feel special in his or her own way. He was such a genuine man; we would never doubt his sincere belief in each of us. Grandpa consistently made us feel comfortable to be ourselves around him. He was real, so we could be real with him. He loved us and was proud of us for simply being who we are—his grandchildren.

But it is we who are proud. It is we who have been so blessed to have a Grandpa who exemplified love, and living a meaningful life. If Grandpa left a legacy for his grandchildren, it is this: to live and love as he did.

A few days ago, I came across a poem with a message that seemed to be coming straight from Grandpa himself. It speaks of overcoming grief, and the continuation of life. So, in closing, I would like to share it with you all.

Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I, and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was ….
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.


I miss you so much Grandpa. I love you.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Hi There

Sorry to those I worried.

The spot was only a spot. It never showed up again. Thank God.

Last Friday we had our 10wk1day appointment. Both babies looked perfect, and each measured 10wks1day.

My estrogen was over 2,000 and my progesterone was at 38.
I'm finally allowed to stop all meds. No more shots!

Our next appointment at the fertility clinic is this Friday when we'll be 11wks1day, and it will also be our last visit.

Next Friday is our first visit to the Ob-Gyn.

I've been really sick, headaches and nauseousness every day. I'm getting really tired of feeling this way. Hopefully I'll feel better soon, and then maybe I'll have more to say.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

So far so good

Since that one spot of blood last night, there's been nothing. So that's good news. I'm keeping a close eye on things though.

And to the commenter that said this "I assume Carly doesn't know about this blog, otherwise you wouldn't be posting the question. It does seem a bit strange that so many in the blogging world are aware of this personal story without her knowledge."

You're wrong. She does in fact know about this blog, but she doesn't read it. She knows I am sharing a lot about us, and she doesn't mind. Carly,(not her real name)
is a very open woman who will tell anyone who will listen about IVF, surrogacy and what we're doing. Please don't assume. You know what they say about that.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

It's only a spot, right?

Ok, I just went to the bathroom and a round spot of bright red blood was on the toilet paper.
(thanks to all all of the journals I read, I'm an obsessive toilet paper checker now)
I havent had sex, nor do I have any other reason to give.
The spot was about the size of an eraser head.
Small, I know but I'm freaking out just a little.
Praying that it's nothing.
Here's the thing. Call Carly or no?
I'm leaning towards no, just because I don't want to freak her out. But, I know she wants to know, and surely has a right to know every little detail. We talk every day, and she quizzes me on my symptoms, etc.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Another good ultrasound

Today's ultrasound and blood letting was just super, thanks for asking.

Baby A measured 15.3mm and 7wks 6days and Baby B measured 16.0mm and 8wks 0days. For some reason, the machine at my clinic doesn't have a measurement for the heartrates, but they were both nice and fast, just the way they should be. My nurse also saw the amniotic sacs forming(and she showed me), which is just what she was looking for this week. The babies definitely had a baby shape to them this week, which was cool. They're still blobs, but more like baby blobs with head, arm and legs buds. Very cool.

My levels were as follows.
HCG 100,000+
Progesterone 28
Estrogen 1600+

Starting today I am being weened off of my meds.
I don't have to take the Estrace tablets anymore, but I still have to wear my Climara patches.
I don't have to take my Crinone suppositories, but I do have to do my 2cc injections of PIO every other night.
Basically my meds were cut in half. I'm good with that.

Feeling very nauseous today. Going to lay back down.

And hey, thanks to everyone who's commented lately. I'm digging that.

Thursday, March 02, 2006


Nothing much to report here. Not sure why I can't find anything to write about.

We had an ultrasound again last Friday, and both babies had done one weeks worth of growing. So everything was right on track.

We have another ultrasound tomorrow (8wks1day), and I think one more next Friday(9wks1day) and then I will be released to a regular Ob-Gyn.

Right now I'm stil on PIO injections, Climara patches, Estrace tablets and Crinone gel suppositories.
I'll be so glad to be off of all these meds.

As for Carly and I, we talk almost every day. She tells me how she wakes up happy every day.
Yesterday, she had a bit of a problem with the mother of one of her students. The woman ended up hanging up on her. When Carly related the story to one of her teacher friends, her friend said to her, "So what! You have twins on the way!" and Carly said that's exactly how her mindset has been lately. The joy of these babies is always on her mind.

Now. As incredible as this makes me feel, I never realized the pressure that this puts me under.

I find myself worrying, praying that everything will be OK. I really worry the night before each ultrasound.
I feel like the health of these babies is completely on my shoulders, and a good outcome rests solely on me.
It's making me crazy.
Carly's relaxed and upbeat, positive that this time it's going to work, and she'll have her long awaited for babies this fall.
I am hesitant, and nervous, wanting to shield her, protect her from possible heartbreak.
How ridiculous is this? I never expected to feel this way.