Heavy hearted

I don't even want to type this, but I have to get it out. My favourite uncle on my mother's side has cancer. Stage four cancer. He has it in his throat, one lung and his voice box. He is 51 years old. He has a wife and three grown, but young, daughters. He has 2 grandchildren. I love my Uncle M so much. My tears are falling now, for the first time since my mother called and broke the news to me yesterday. Dammit. I can't bring myself to type any more about this. I will just copy and paste part of an email that was sent to me.

~He has a form of lung cancer that is very aggressive. It is involving his pulmonary artery and the Dr. said that due to location, size etc in his left lung, it is not operable. He said that it is treatable but not curable. The form of treatment will be chemotherapy. He is referring M to the cancer clinic now. The lump in his lymph gland in his neck is definitely cancerous and there is a lump in a lymph gland in his abdomen that is questionable. There is also a lump in his kidney that they think is just a cyst. So in a nutshell, things do not look promising. The best we can hope for at this time is a remission following chemo. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I wanted you both to know the details the way C told them to me. Keep him in your prayers.~

This comes on the heels of finding out that my favourite Uncle on my Dad's side of the family ( my Godmother's husband) has a cancerous tumour on his brain stem. He is 50 years old, with a wife, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren. It is also inoperable, and this uncle has just completed his chemo. He has been given a 50/50 chance of making past one year, and his odds go down from there, with the Dr's giving him less than five years. My mother told me yesterday that the Dr's have said there is nothing else they can do for him now but make him comfortable. I think I'm going to be sick.

One more thing. My loving best friend of 10 years, our dog, had some lumps removed off of him 4 months ago. We paid $500 for the surgery, but didn't have the extra money to have the lumps biopsied. At the time we just paid to have them removed, and just hoped for the best. In the last 4 months, he has grown one of the lumps back, it is softball sized and hard, under his armpit. He has grown 2 small grape sized ones on his side. Another one grew from nothing to baseball sized hanging off the front of his leg. We took him to the vets, and guess what? Since we don't have $500-$1,000 to do another surgery again, and then have these biopsied, we had to let the vet take his best guess as to what was going on. He knows our dog's history, he did our dog's surgery 4 months ago. The vet shook his head and sighed as he palpitated them. Long story short, his best guess was cancer. For now our dog is acting normally, but it doesn't look good.

I HATE YOU FUCKING CANCER.