I can't seem to get the comments running on my last post. Why is that? I have the comments enabled... I'm adding this post to see what happens.
~EDITED TO ADD~
Well now they're working on this post. Weird. Maybe I somehow disabled them on that last one? *shrug*. Either I don't know what I'm doing, or Blogger is a freak. Either could easily be true. Glad it's fixed.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
I was right
Yesterday I got to thinking. I wanted to check with Sugar and see if she was indeed going to mail the IPs sneek peek to me. Well the answer was no. She kind of laughed when I asked her, like I was some sort of idiot. "Oh noooo" she said (small giggle). "Once I get their information I look it over and then schedule a phone consult with them, they aren't even a part of my program yet."
Well duh. I knew that. But when I asked her the day before, WHEN would I get to see a sneek peek profile and pictures she specifically said "The IM told me that she is overnighting their paperwork to me today. I'll have it tomorrow. Then I'll make copies of their pictures and sneek peek profile and send it to you. So, 2 days. Isn't that exciting?"
Am I missing something? Now she's saying that once she calls and schedules a phone consultation, has the consultation, signs them up ( gets $), sends them MY sneek peek with pictures and they like me, THEN she will mail me some information. Jeebus lady. Of course this makes total sense to me, but that's NOT what she told me. She also told me back on September 11th that she was sending them my info! I inquired about that yesterday too. Same response. No, she doesn't send out my info until they are a part of her program. Again, not what she said back on the 11th. When I said Sugar was a little flighty, I wasn't kidding.
I asked her how long all of that should take. A week? Two? More? She said it will only be a week before I get to see their sneek peek profile. "Maybe sooner!" she said. We'll see.
So then I wrangled some more information out of her.
The IM is 39. I don't know her husband's age. They have suffered 5 pregnancy losses, one at 6 or 7 months. I found out the city that they live in. It is NOT the original city that Sugar thought they lived in, which was 2 hours from me. It is much closer, only 50 minutes from where I live. If this match works out, this couple will be able to be a part of everything that they want to be! How great is that?
Well duh. I knew that. But when I asked her the day before, WHEN would I get to see a sneek peek profile and pictures she specifically said "The IM told me that she is overnighting their paperwork to me today. I'll have it tomorrow. Then I'll make copies of their pictures and sneek peek profile and send it to you. So, 2 days. Isn't that exciting?"
Am I missing something? Now she's saying that once she calls and schedules a phone consultation, has the consultation, signs them up ( gets $), sends them MY sneek peek with pictures and they like me, THEN she will mail me some information. Jeebus lady. Of course this makes total sense to me, but that's NOT what she told me. She also told me back on September 11th that she was sending them my info! I inquired about that yesterday too. Same response. No, she doesn't send out my info until they are a part of her program. Again, not what she said back on the 11th. When I said Sugar was a little flighty, I wasn't kidding.
I asked her how long all of that should take. A week? Two? More? She said it will only be a week before I get to see their sneek peek profile. "Maybe sooner!" she said. We'll see.
So then I wrangled some more information out of her.
The IM is 39. I don't know her husband's age. They have suffered 5 pregnancy losses, one at 6 or 7 months. I found out the city that they live in. It is NOT the original city that Sugar thought they lived in, which was 2 hours from me. It is much closer, only 50 minutes from where I live. If this match works out, this couple will be able to be a part of everything that they want to be! How great is that?
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
News!
I have news!. Sugar called me tonight. The IM (intended mother) called her tonight. The IM has overnighted Sugar all of their paperwork. Sugar told me that the IM is very excited about me taking a look at their sneek peek profile and pictures. I'm excited to get them! Sugar told me that after she receives the information tomorrow, she will then mail it to me. She told me that I'll have it in two days. How that's possible I'm not sure. Since she won't be getting it until tomorrow, hmmm. I'm pretty sure she won't be overnighting it to me. We'll see. I expect her to priority mail it and my guess is that I'll get it Friday. You heard it here first.
Another bit I'm very excited about, that Sugar mentioned to me tonight, is that the clinic that this couple has been working with is MY clinic. The one that I've already done 2 cycles and 1 transfer with this year. Not only that, in a clinic with six REs and seven locations, we have the same one. RE that is. Freaky. I'm thrilled because this means that I won't have to travel for the transfer, and I already know the staff, and one of their locations is only 10 minutes from me.
Sugar also told me the area code that this couple lives in, and it is closer than the area she originally told me.
I'm so ready to pursue this again. I hope this is the right couple for me.
Another bit I'm very excited about, that Sugar mentioned to me tonight, is that the clinic that this couple has been working with is MY clinic. The one that I've already done 2 cycles and 1 transfer with this year. Not only that, in a clinic with six REs and seven locations, we have the same one. RE that is. Freaky. I'm thrilled because this means that I won't have to travel for the transfer, and I already know the staff, and one of their locations is only 10 minutes from me.
Sugar also told me the area code that this couple lives in, and it is closer than the area she originally told me.
I'm so ready to pursue this again. I hope this is the right couple for me.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Heavy hearted
I don't even want to type this, but I have to get it out. My favourite uncle on my mother's side has cancer. Stage four cancer. He has it in his throat, one lung and his voice box. He is 51 years old. He has a wife and three grown, but young, daughters. He has 2 grandchildren. I love my Uncle M so much. My tears are falling now, for the first time since my mother called and broke the news to me yesterday. Dammit. I can't bring myself to type any more about this. I will just copy and paste part of an email that was sent to me.
~He has a form of lung cancer that is very aggressive. It is involving his pulmonary artery and the Dr. said that due to location, size etc in his left lung, it is not operable. He said that it is treatable but not curable. The form of treatment will be chemotherapy. He is referring M to the cancer clinic now. The lump in his lymph gland in his neck is definitely cancerous and there is a lump in a lymph gland in his abdomen that is questionable. There is also a lump in his kidney that they think is just a cyst. So in a nutshell, things do not look promising. The best we can hope for at this time is a remission following chemo. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I wanted you both to know the details the way C told them to me. Keep him in your prayers.~
This comes on the heels of finding out that my favourite Uncle on my Dad's side of the family ( my Godmother's husband) has a cancerous tumour on his brain stem. He is 50 years old, with a wife, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren. It is also inoperable, and this uncle has just completed his chemo. He has been given a 50/50 chance of making past one year, and his odds go down from there, with the Dr's giving him less than five years. My mother told me yesterday that the Dr's have said there is nothing else they can do for him now but make him comfortable. I think I'm going to be sick.
One more thing. My loving best friend of 10 years, our dog, had some lumps removed off of him 4 months ago. We paid $500 for the surgery, but didn't have the extra money to have the lumps biopsied. At the time we just paid to have them removed, and just hoped for the best. In the last 4 months, he has grown one of the lumps back, it is softball sized and hard, under his armpit. He has grown 2 small grape sized ones on his side. Another one grew from nothing to baseball sized hanging off the front of his leg. We took him to the vets, and guess what? Since we don't have $500-$1,000 to do another surgery again, and then have these biopsied, we had to let the vet take his best guess as to what was going on. He knows our dog's history, he did our dog's surgery 4 months ago. The vet shook his head and sighed as he palpitated them. Long story short, his best guess was cancer. For now our dog is acting normally, but it doesn't look good.
I HATE YOU FUCKING CANCER.
~He has a form of lung cancer that is very aggressive. It is involving his pulmonary artery and the Dr. said that due to location, size etc in his left lung, it is not operable. He said that it is treatable but not curable. The form of treatment will be chemotherapy. He is referring M to the cancer clinic now. The lump in his lymph gland in his neck is definitely cancerous and there is a lump in a lymph gland in his abdomen that is questionable. There is also a lump in his kidney that they think is just a cyst. So in a nutshell, things do not look promising. The best we can hope for at this time is a remission following chemo. I'm sorry for being so blunt but I wanted you both to know the details the way C told them to me. Keep him in your prayers.~
This comes on the heels of finding out that my favourite Uncle on my Dad's side of the family ( my Godmother's husband) has a cancerous tumour on his brain stem. He is 50 years old, with a wife, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren. It is also inoperable, and this uncle has just completed his chemo. He has been given a 50/50 chance of making past one year, and his odds go down from there, with the Dr's giving him less than five years. My mother told me yesterday that the Dr's have said there is nothing else they can do for him now but make him comfortable. I think I'm going to be sick.
One more thing. My loving best friend of 10 years, our dog, had some lumps removed off of him 4 months ago. We paid $500 for the surgery, but didn't have the extra money to have the lumps biopsied. At the time we just paid to have them removed, and just hoped for the best. In the last 4 months, he has grown one of the lumps back, it is softball sized and hard, under his armpit. He has grown 2 small grape sized ones on his side. Another one grew from nothing to baseball sized hanging off the front of his leg. We took him to the vets, and guess what? Since we don't have $500-$1,000 to do another surgery again, and then have these biopsied, we had to let the vet take his best guess as to what was going on. He knows our dog's history, he did our dog's surgery 4 months ago. The vet shook his head and sighed as he palpitated them. Long story short, his best guess was cancer. For now our dog is acting normally, but it doesn't look good.
I HATE YOU FUCKING CANCER.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sugar
The owner of the agency called me yesterday. I need to give her a moniker. How about Sugar? Her voice is so little girly, sugary sweet when she talks to you. It's hard to tell if it's fake or not. You still can't help but like her. Even if she is also a tad flighty.
Well, yesterday I recieved a call from her, asking me for the 100th time if they had received my clearance letter from my Ob yet. I assured her that yes, they had it, it took her all of 5 seconds to locate it in my file.
"Well," she chirped "I may have found you a match already!"
She proceeded to tell me about a lady that has suffered ( if i remember this correctly) 4 or 5 late term pregnancy losses. One was a set of twins. Her Dr's had first diagnosed her with an incompetant cervix for the first couple of losses, then something else. With her latest loss they have decided it is an immune disorder. How heartbreaking. I can't even imagine. Her Dr's have suggested that she find a surrogate now.
Sugar told me that this lady sounds very warm and that she is a college professor. The other great thing is that the Professor and her husband live 2 hours from me. Sugar told the Professor a little about me, and the Professor was excited and told Sugar, to tell me to please wait until I have a look at her and her husband before I decide on another couple.
Sugar asked me if I would be interested in this couple, and if I minded her mailing them my pictures and my "sneak peek" packet of info this week. I agreed. If Professor and her husband like my profile, then I should recieve their profile and pictures to look over in about 2 weeks. Maybe less.
It's a funny feeling, knowing that people are looking at your picture, reading the answers in your information packet and the letter that you wrote to potential intended parents. I wonder what they're looking for and if they are excited or bored when they read about me.
Looks like things are about to get interesting.
Well, yesterday I recieved a call from her, asking me for the 100th time if they had received my clearance letter from my Ob yet. I assured her that yes, they had it, it took her all of 5 seconds to locate it in my file.
"Well," she chirped "I may have found you a match already!"
She proceeded to tell me about a lady that has suffered ( if i remember this correctly) 4 or 5 late term pregnancy losses. One was a set of twins. Her Dr's had first diagnosed her with an incompetant cervix for the first couple of losses, then something else. With her latest loss they have decided it is an immune disorder. How heartbreaking. I can't even imagine. Her Dr's have suggested that she find a surrogate now.
Sugar told me that this lady sounds very warm and that she is a college professor. The other great thing is that the Professor and her husband live 2 hours from me. Sugar told the Professor a little about me, and the Professor was excited and told Sugar, to tell me to please wait until I have a look at her and her husband before I decide on another couple.
Sugar asked me if I would be interested in this couple, and if I minded her mailing them my pictures and my "sneak peek" packet of info this week. I agreed. If Professor and her husband like my profile, then I should recieve their profile and pictures to look over in about 2 weeks. Maybe less.
It's a funny feeling, knowing that people are looking at your picture, reading the answers in your information packet and the letter that you wrote to potential intended parents. I wonder what they're looking for and if they are excited or bored when they read about me.
Looks like things are about to get interesting.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Good, Bad, Ugly
The Good:
Our vacation was wonderful. The best we've had this year. we took the kids out in the boat, and they both caught Northern pike. Boy were they excited. We had the most delicious fish fry dinner. TJ and Kate spent hours wandering the edge of the river catching tadpoles and frogs. Once they even caught a tiny a tiny bass, with their net. It was smaller than the size of my thumb. So neat.
The Bad:
On our way home I called my boss to see how things were going. He told me that we lost our biggest account. It's been touch and go for about six months now. It accounted for over half my pay. Ouch. I've known for a while that I needed to look for new employment as the company I've been working for isn't doing so well. So it wasn't a shock to hear, but it wasn't good news.
The Ugly:
We got home yesterday, and today my boss called and said he was closing the doors. The business is folding. I'm out of a job. Double ouch. My last day was the one I worked before we went on on vacation.
I've already applied for unemployment today, and filled out a job application on line for a local store that's opening. Tomorrow I'm going and applying for another store that's opening.
So that's the news. Send me some love.
Got to go. Need to bring Kate's purse and bike to her friend's house. She's going camping with her friend's family this weekend. They leave in the morning.
Our vacation was wonderful. The best we've had this year. we took the kids out in the boat, and they both caught Northern pike. Boy were they excited. We had the most delicious fish fry dinner. TJ and Kate spent hours wandering the edge of the river catching tadpoles and frogs. Once they even caught a tiny a tiny bass, with their net. It was smaller than the size of my thumb. So neat.
The Bad:
On our way home I called my boss to see how things were going. He told me that we lost our biggest account. It's been touch and go for about six months now. It accounted for over half my pay. Ouch. I've known for a while that I needed to look for new employment as the company I've been working for isn't doing so well. So it wasn't a shock to hear, but it wasn't good news.
The Ugly:
We got home yesterday, and today my boss called and said he was closing the doors. The business is folding. I'm out of a job. Double ouch. My last day was the one I worked before we went on on vacation.
I've already applied for unemployment today, and filled out a job application on line for a local store that's opening. Tomorrow I'm going and applying for another store that's opening.
So that's the news. Send me some love.
Got to go. Need to bring Kate's purse and bike to her friend's house. She's going camping with her friend's family this weekend. They leave in the morning.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Leaving on a jet plane
We're leaving tomorrow morning for a 5 day family vacation. The plan is to have lots of sand and sun, fishing off the boat, campfires, drinks (not the kids), and lots of laughs. I'm so excited I could just pee! I LOVE going away. See you at the end of next week.
It's the knowing
A couple of nights ago, as I was drifting off to sleep, my husband reached out and caressed my hair and forehead for a moment. I had my back to him, and he was snuggled up behind me. Then his hand stilled, but he left it against my back. It was lovely. The warmth generated from his palm was so relaxing.
I mumbled sleepily " Why does it feel so good to have your hand just resting there?"
"It's the knowing" he replied.
Thinking he meant just knowing that someone is touching you, but not quite sure that was what he meant I mumbled "the knowing?"
"Yeah" he said, "that I love you."
God I love that man.
I mumbled sleepily " Why does it feel so good to have your hand just resting there?"
"It's the knowing" he replied.
Thinking he meant just knowing that someone is touching you, but not quite sure that was what he meant I mumbled "the knowing?"
"Yeah" he said, "that I love you."
God I love that man.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Spent
Today I took two girls to the mall. Kate and a friend. I wasn't looking forward to going. Kate had been asking for a few weeks now, if we could do our shopping at the mall for her school clothes this year. When she was younger, we picked out all of her fall clothing at W-Mart, KMart etc. She's entering 8th grade this year, and it just wasn't going to cut it. I could see how very much she wanted to get trendy/cool clothes. I bit the bullet, and we headed to the mall.
You see, shopping with Kate is trying at best. She likes the "in" fashions, which are short skirts and baby doll/snug t-shirts, low and I mean low rise jeans. Also tight. The jeans must be tight. It's a virtual landmine for mother and daughter arguments. It took us 4 hours. I managed to keep my mouth shut and my daughter and her friend decently covered.
The girls thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and all of Kate's (and her friend's) school clothes have been purchased. My wallet emptied, and the backseat full, the girls had smiles on their faces.
I guess you could say that it was a successful trip.
You see, shopping with Kate is trying at best. She likes the "in" fashions, which are short skirts and baby doll/snug t-shirts, low and I mean low rise jeans. Also tight. The jeans must be tight. It's a virtual landmine for mother and daughter arguments. It took us 4 hours. I managed to keep my mouth shut and my daughter and her friend decently covered.
The girls thoroughly enjoyed themselves, and all of Kate's (and her friend's) school clothes have been purchased. My wallet emptied, and the backseat full, the girls had smiles on their faces.
I guess you could say that it was a successful trip.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Surrogacy happenings
I just spoke with the owner of the agency or service if you will. They received my health letter clearance from my OB and my paperwork from the IVF clinic that I worked with. Now she wants new photos. What? She says they need to be clearer. I take pictures with a digital camera, I load them on my computer and I print the ones I want. There's nothing wrong with my printer, but she wants "actual pictures" like from a printing place. I've already sent her a bunch, more than they requested. I tried to show different sides to myself and my family. One picture was of the four of us at a petting farm. There was a wooden cutout of 4 animals, and each of us had our head through one. I was the lamb, Kate was the pig, you get the idea. I also sent a picture of our house, and a few differents shots of all of us. Some together, some individually. All they asked for was " a clear picture of yourself, and one of you and your family." Well, if I was going to choose a surrogate, I would want as much info as possible to try and get a feel for what her and her family were like.
I guess I'll be heading out later to make pictures.
Then, the owner says, she will get started on matching me. She says she has a couple of couples in mind for me. She talks to them about me first, sends them my profile. If they're interested, she send their profile to me. I can't wait to see what happens.
I guess I'll be heading out later to make pictures.
Then, the owner says, she will get started on matching me. She says she has a couple of couples in mind for me. She talks to them about me first, sends them my profile. If they're interested, she send their profile to me. I can't wait to see what happens.
Here I go again
Well, this must be the 3rd or 4th journal I've started in as many years. I love the idea of having a journal. I just seem to have a hard time keeping one. The pressure of not writing as well as I would like, the idea that my posts need to be lengthy or humorous or frequent even, tends to overwhelm me.
This time I will try not to let those things bother me. I will just write. Grammatically incorrect, short, but more frequent updates.
How does that sound?
This time I will try not to let those things bother me. I will just write. Grammatically incorrect, short, but more frequent updates.
How does that sound?
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